Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 52932 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 265(@200wpm)___ 212(@250wpm)___ 176(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52932 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 265(@200wpm)___ 212(@250wpm)___ 176(@300wpm)
With that, he turns and walks away, his footsteps echoing in the same breeze that’s whipping my long hair across my face. I stand motionless, feeling as if the world has just shattered around me. The weight of our forbidden emotions presses down on me, and sinking onto the bench, I bury my face in my hands as sobs wrack my body, and I wonder if I’ll ever feel whole again.
Time seems to stand still as I remain seated on the bench while the sun slowly sinks below the horizon. I know I’ll have to find a way to move on, to live without him. But in this moment, it feels impossible.
All I can do is cry for the love that could never be and the man I could never have.
Seventeen Years Old
It’s been two months since Hadrian left, and I’m back at the old stone bench overlooking the sea. I trace the small heart with a letter H on either side of it that I carved into the wooden seat after he left. My fingers tremble, and tears blur my vision.
He’s gone.
Each morning, when I wake and go downstairs, there are no longer any loud, gruff voices. My father sits eating breakfast at the table with a few of his men, but two are missing, and I know they’re not coming back.
The first morning after Hadrian and Hades left, my father didn’t look up when I entered the dining room, and he didn’t greet me. I could tell his emotions were a mix of loss and discontent. He loved both the twins almost as much as I loved the one.
Since Hadrian’s departure, I’ve tried to immerse myself in my studies and the planning of my birthday party, but everything reminds me of him. The books we used to talk about, the music we both liked, and our discussions about the places we wanted to see, including the cities and towns I’ve only ever heard of or seen on telly.
I dream about him every night. He’s there, in my mind’s eye, telling me he wants me.
I know I have to let go of him. But my heart is stubbornly refusing to follow my head.
“Why did it have to be this way?” I whisper to the chilly wind that’s blowing off the sea. “Why couldn’t things be different?”
I’ll live the rest of my life knowing my first love was unrequited. My feelings, our feelings, were forbidden, but it didn’t stop them from taking hold. It didn’t stop them from being real.
I realise now that Hadrian left so I could find my own way. Hadrian wanted me to have a happy life, to experience things that he said he couldn’t give me, and to have the freedom to choose my own future, and I want to have that, too. But my father’s organisation is getting bigger and more volatile, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to escape this life, and even if I wanted to walk away, I can’t bear the thought of abandoning my father.
When I stand up to leave, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. As angry as I am with Hadrian, I know he did this for me. I look back over my shoulder, my gaze on the sea. I’m still heartbroken he had to leave, knowing there would never be a chance for us, but I have to focus on my life now. I need to be stronger and more resilient in the days ahead.
“Goodbye, Hadrian,” I whisper, a tear slipping down my cheek. “Thank you for loving me enough to let me go.”
With that, I walk away, leaving the past behind but carrying its lessons with me. I know that life is full of unexpected turns and that true love sometimes means making the hardest choices, but I also know I am stronger now. I’m ready to face whatever the future holds.
I feel a sense of hope as I walk back into the house and see my father in the lounge. He’s on the couch, watching telly, and when I enter, he smiles for the first time in a long while.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” he says as I join him.
“Oh? What about?”
He sighs as he mutes the telly. “I never intended for you to get involved in the organisation. I always hoped you would get to choose your own path, but things have come up, and I need you to start working for me full-time.”
His words sink my heart like a dead weight.
“What?”
“Aye,” he says with a nod. “I want ye to learn about the organisation, so if anything happens to me, you’ll be prepared to take over.”
I watch my father for a silent moment. The twisting in my stomach reminds me that there’s no way I can refuse him. Even though it’s not what I want to do with my life, he needs me.