Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Luckily, he had plenty of experience roughing it—that was basically how he’d been living for the past five years as he and his squad waged a never-ending campaign of guerilla warfare against the invading Scourge. At least he didn’t have to fight here—Lan’ara’s home world was a peaceful planet and the natives were friendly.
He’d asked a few of them what was poisonous and which plants and fruits to avoid and had found, to his surprise, that none of them were toxic. Apparently the whole planet was “in harmony” as several of the natives had told him, which meant that any kind of fruits or vegetables he could find could be eaten—either raw or cooked.
Nate had supplemented his vegetarian diet by catching and roasting fish—the inland sea was full of them. So sleeping on the beach and foraging for food hadn’t been difficult at all—what had been difficult was never seeing Lan’ara. At least twice a day—once in the morning and once in the evening—he’d gone to the hut and knocked on the door to check on her.
But it was always the wrinkled old woman who answered with a scowl on her wizened green face. And she always shooed Nate away, saying that his “toxic negative emotions” would hurt Lan’ara. So he wasn’t allowed to see her—not even for a moment.
Nate wanted to protest that he had a lot of positive emotions to give too. He cared deeply for the Kindred woman who had claimed he was her “fated mate.”
But the night of her collapse he had come to a harsh realization—he might be falling in love with Lan’ara, but he was no damn good for her. The old woman kept talking about his negative emotions and after the past five years and his time before that in the Seals, there was no doubt he had plenty of them.
Plus, there was no guarantee that he might not have another break with reality. It was true that he was feeling better and more clear-headed than he had at any time since before the Scourge had invaded the Earth and also true that nothing had triggered him in the past week, but that didn’t mean it would never happen again. And next time…
Next time I might kill her, Nate thought warily, as he watched her approach. She was walking slowly, as though she was still weak. He wanted desperately to run over and sweep her into his arms and carry her as he had in the forest of the Singing Trees. But he didn’t dare—what if his negative emotions hurt her when he got close? So instead of running to her, he cleaned his hands of the sticky pw’alla fruit juice in the little stream at his feet and then stood and waited for her to get to him.
“Nate…” She looked tired, he thought, and thinner than she had been, which made his heart ache—he loved her curves and hated to see her lose them.
“Hello, Lan’ara,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. God, he wanted to hug her! Wanted to hold her close and feel her beautiful body pressed against his own again! But he couldn’t—he didn’t dare touch her. Didn’t dare to even get too close to her.
“I wanted to be sure you were well,” she said.
Nate let out a bark of unhappy laughter.
“Shouldn’t that be my line?”
She shrugged her slim shoulders.
“Not necessarily. You were ill as well.”
“I didn’t almost die though,” Nate pointed out. “I was just out of my fucking head several times.”
She looked up at him anxiously.
“Has that happened again? Has anything, er, triggered you and sent you back into your past?”
Nate shook his head.
“No. I’ve been fine ever since…” He cleared his throat, feeling guilty. “Since the night when you collapsed. Are you okay? You look tired,” he added, unable to hide his concern for her.
“I am well. A little weak, but I’ve been recovering.” She hesitated, as though she wanted to say something else but then shook her head. “It’s good to hear you haven’t had another…episode,” she said at last. “It must mean that the Healing Nectar helped you.”
“Yeah, it helped all right,” Nate growled, feeling a surge of fury directed at himself. “It helped so much I nearly killed you—drained you like a fucking vampire!”
“What? Nate, that’s not true!” she protested.
“Come on—we both know it is,” he said roughly. “You nearly died the night I took your nectar and I didn’t know what the fuck to do for you. Scared the shit out of me—I almost lost you and it was all my fault!”
“It wasn’t your fault!” Lan’ara said quickly. “My body made the nectar for you because it sensed you needed healing. You had nothing to do with it.”
“How can you say that when I nearly killed you?” Nate demanded. He was getting more and more upset. “I’m not just talking about draining you when I sucked the nectar, either. What about how I nearly choked you?”