Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Just as she thought she was going to pass out, the arm around her neck loosened and she heard Nate say,
“Lan’ara? Sweetheart? What…what’s going on?”
Lan’ara drew a deep, gasping breath and sagged against the broad chest behind her. Oh Goddess, that had been close! She could have died if she hadn’t been able to bring him back to himself!
“Lan’ara?” he asked again. “God, was I…choking you?”
“You thought I was…was the enemy,” she got out in a choked voice. “Something…triggered you. Just like…in the Singing Trees.”
“Shit!” Nate let go of her completely and stepped back.
But after absorbing so much negative emotion, Lan’ara was too weak to stand on her own. Without the support of his big body to lean against, she slumped down, her head going under the water.
Muscular arms scooped her up at once and Nate held her close to his broad chest.
“Christ, sweetheart! What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? I’m so fucking sorry!”
“I’m all right,” Lan’ara said quickly. Which was true—the waters of the cavern that fed into the Outermost Lake had already healed her throat. “I’m just…feeling really weak,” she said.
Nate looked down at her anxiously.
“Are you low on good emotions again? Do you need me to, uh, ‘feed’ you some good feelings?”
Lan’ara didn’t want to tell him that bringing him back from his past had nearly depleted her reservoir, so she nodded weakly.
“Yes, I…I could use some positive emotions. Could…could you bring me back to our hut and give them to me there?”
“Of course, baby. I’m so sorry.” Nate cradled her protectively close as he waded through the swirling blue waters of the caverns.
Lan’ara drew some strength from the protective tenderness she felt coming from her big human. Nate really cared for her and would be horrified if he knew how close he’d come to killing her—for a second time.
They couldn’t go on like this, she told herself. Never knowing what might trigger him or what he might do when he was triggered—it was a terrible way to live. For both of them. But what could she do to end the cycle?
You know what you have to do, whispered a little voice in her head. You know the only way to give him lasting peace.
Yes, Lan’ara knew. Her breasts were heavy with the Healing Nectar—this last attack of darkness and her own efforts to bring Nate out of his past had pushed her body past the point of no return. Her entire being was urging her to heal him—to give him what he needed—what only she could give.
She must let him suck the nectar from her breasts—even if it depleted her severely, it was the only way to give him lasting healing.
The knowledge brought her a kind of calm despair. She might not survive the night—her reservoir was almost dry. But if she had to give her life to heal her fated mate, so be it.
“Nate,” she whispered as he brought her into the hut and laid her gently on the low mattress beside the crackling blue and green and gold flames of the fire. “I need your help—can you get me something to dry off?”
“Of course, sweetheart. No—don’t try to move. Let me.”
She could feel his concern for her as he toweled her off gently, stroking the soft fabric of the dry-all over her bare skin. They had gone swimming naked this time, which made the drying much easier.
Nate dried himself off too and then lay down beside her and gathered her into his arms.
“I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you, baby,” he murmured and she felt his remorse clearly. “I don’t know what set me off—I thought I was back on Earth with those fucking Scourge surrounding our camp!”
“Don’t talk about it and please don’t think about it,” Lan’ara begged him. “I need positive emotions from you right now, Nate. Please—be here in the present with me. Hold me…touch me.” Reaching for him, she put one of his big hands on her bare breast.
Nate looked down at her uncertainly.
“Is that what you really want? I mean, I’ve never been with any woman who wanted to be uh, touched that way when she didn’t feel good.”
“Nate, please…listen to me.”
Reaching up, she cupped his rough cheek. His eyes were shining in the firelight as he leaned over her with one arm under her neck and his other hand resting on her breast.
“I’m listening, sweetheart,” he rumbled. “Go on.”
“Your sexual feelings are some of the strongest positive emotions you have,” Lan’ara told him. “And that’s what I need now—intensely positive emotions. So yes, I want you to touch me. The better you feel, the better I’ll feel and we can’t get those feelings if you’re just laying there feeling guilty because you think you hurt me.”
“But I did hurt you,” he protested.
“And you can heal me, too,” Lan’ara told him. She desperately needed some positive emotions to refill her reservoir before she asked him to suck her breasts and take the Healing Nectar! Lacing her fingers around his neck, she tugged him down for a kiss.