Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Nate shook his head and looked down at his legs. He was wearing another pair of the loose white trousers which seemed to be what all the men wore around here. They looked kind of like pajama pants to him, but they were damned comfortable, so he wasn’t complaining.
“You don’t want to know. It’s stupid really—just a dream I have sometimes.”
“Nate…” She placed a soft hand on his jaw—which was clenched with tension—and tilted his face up so their eyes met. “Please—I want to help you,” she said softly. “I want to heal you, but you have to meet me halfway. You have to tell me about your trauma.”
“It’s not trauma—just a dream,” he protested uneasily. “A bad dream.”
“A bad dream you have over and over again—right?” She looked at him, a slight frown playing around the corners of her lush lips.
“Well…” Nate cleared his throat. “Yeah, I guess.”
“So tell me about it. Maybe I can ease some of your pain—let me share your burden.”
Nate was tempted to refuse her offer and shake her off. He didn’t need help, damn it! Everybody had bad dreams sometimes. What the fuck was the big deal?
But Lan’ara had been kind to him…and she’d rescued him from death or a life of slavery at the Flesh Bazaar. He had to admit he owed her his life…the least he could do was give in to her request to talk about his recurring dream—even if he really didn’t fucking want to.
“Fine,” he said shortly. “I have this dream that I’m hiding in the forest, protecting an outpost—trying to keep anything from getting past the barricade. Because I know if they do—if the Scourge break though—they’ll find the underground bunker where all the women and kids are hiding. And…”
He trailed off, having a difficult time continuing. Talking about it was bringing everything back, even worse than the dream!
“And?” Lan’ara prodded softly. Scooting closer to him on the bed, she placed one cool hand against his forehead, as though she was checking him for fever. “Please, keep going,” she murmured. “I want to help you bear this if I can but I need you to talk me through it as I touch you.”
Nate didn’t see how the hell she could help him like this, but he had to admit he liked the feel of her cool hand on his forehead. Also, she smelled fucking amazing. What was that perfume she was using? It must be pure pheromones because it made him feel drawn to her, like a bee to a flower.
“Please continue,” Lan’ara murmured. “The Scourge—you were afraid they would break through to find the bunker where all the females and children were hiding. And someone else too. Who, Nate?”
Nate sighed and took a deep breath.
“My little sister—the one I told you about,” he said. “Maddy.”
“You told me you thought she was safe in the underground bunker.”
“She should have been safe—she would have been, if I’d kept her safe.” Nate scrubbed a hand over his face, hearing the dry scratch his palm made against his whiskers. “We…couldn’t hold back the Scourge,” he admitted at last. “They broke through. I think they must have taken Maddy because her body wasn’t…wasn’t one of the ones we found.”
He swallowed hard, hearing a click in his throat. The Scourge had gone though the underground bunker like a fucking hurricane, killing indiscriminately. The broken bodies of women and children had been everywhere and Nate had been forced to look through all of them to be certain his little sister wasn’t among them…
He heard a soft moan and looked up to see Lan’ara’s eyelids fluttering and a look of pain on her face. The pink spirals on her temples were glowing again and her hand was still pressed to his forehead.
“Hey…” Reaching up, he took her wrist and pulled her hand gently but firmly away from his face.
Lan’ara looked up, her deep purple eyes shiny with unshed tears.
“I can feel how much you loved her—how much you miss her. I can feel your guilt,” she whispered. “Nate, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s not your fault,” he said shortly. “It’s mine. I should have been stronger—done better. I should have kept her safe.”
Lan’ara shook her head and a silver tear slid down her cheek.
“You did all you could.”
He was a little unnerved by her reaction—he’d never had anyone weep for him before. It was almost like she was shedding the tears he couldn’t bring himself to cry. But Lan’ara’s next question surprised him even more.
“Will you let me hold you?” she asked earnestly, looking up at him. “Since it is our Holding Time, after all.”
Nate wasn’t sure what she meant by “Holding Time” and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of her request. He had never had a woman ask if she could hold him—usually it was the other way around. He was so much bigger than anyone else, girls loved to be the “little spoon” and have him wrap himself around them, making them feel small and safe and protected.