Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry, Hazel,” I tell her, probably one of the sincerest conversations I’ve had in over three years. “I was selfish. I was thinking about my own pain when I should have been thinking about all the people who needed me. I’ve hurt a lot of people over the past few years.”
“But you’re back now,” she says in a small voice, as if not quite sure, and honestly, I’m not sure either. “Things can go back to how they used to be.”
“I don’t know,” I tell her. “Like Zoey said at dinner, that ship sailed a while ago. I hurt her really badly, and to be honest, even if we were ready for it, I don’t know if I’m capable of making it up to her. But I promise, I won’t be a stranger to you. I’ve missed three years of your life, and if Linc was looking down on me, he’d be ready to kick my ass for allowing that to happen.”
“I can kick your ass for him,” Hazel suggests in all seriousness before a ridiculous grin stretches across her face, her eyes shining just the way Zoey’s used to.
“Oh really?” I laugh, feeling part of the darkness starting to chip away. I lean back in her desk chair, feeling the ease of our old friendship falling into place. “And how the hell do you think you’re going to do that? You’re all but three feet tall.”
“I am not,” she argues, and the music from Zoey’s room hitches a little higher as if trying to drown out our conversation.
I nod my head in Zoey’s general direction. “Does she do that a lot?”
“What? Listen to music so loud it bursts her eardrums? Yes. Just be happy she’s not screaming the songs at the top of her lungs like she usually does.”
Warmth spreads through my chest, feeling as though I’m getting a little insight into Zoey’s life for the first time in three years, something I lost the right to know, and fuck, it wasn’t until this very moment that I realize just how much I miss it. All the little things that make her happy, the things that put a smile on her face or make her feel content. I’ve been missing it all, and while I still know all the big things, there’s so much about her I don’t know anymore. She’s grown up without me, and that realization stings.
“Wanna know a secret?” I ask, feeling as though I don’t need to hide here, not with Hazel.
“Umm, yeah,” she says, slightly leaning forward as though she’s about to hear the gossip of the century.
I press my lips into a hard line, having known this since day one but never having the strength to actually say it out loud. “I miss her.”
Hazel scoffs, disappointment flashing in her eyes. “That’s your big secret?” she grunts, rolling her eyes and resting back against her headboard. “Anyone could have told you that. It was all but stamped across both of your foreheads at dinner. You’re so obvious that I’m going to change your name to Captain Obvious. Actually, what’s higher than a captain? Colonel? Colonel Obvious. Wait . . . that doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
Rolling my eyes, I kick my feet out and cross them at my ankles. “Alright, kid,” I say. “Catch me up on the Hazel James highlight reel from the past three years, and don’t spare any of the gory details.”
17
Zoey
Gripping the door handle, I slowly pull it open and hold my breath as I peer out into the hallway. My gaze swings from left to right as I listen out, making sure Aunt Maya and Noah are gone.
It’s late, and I’ve been hiding out in my room way too long to be considered polite, but for some reason, I don’t think anyone is going to hold that against me tonight.
I was stupid to assume I could do this, stupid to give him a reason to need to come here. What was I thinking? I thought I was strong enough to face him, but the second his leg brushed against mine under the table, everything within me broke. I needed his touch more than I needed to breathe, and I think on some level he knew that. Or maybe he needed the touch just as much as I did.
But then Mom had to go and push it, and while I get that she thought she was helping, all it did was crush me, and every snide comment I’d been planning to unleash on Noah suddenly didn’t seem so important. I didn’t feel important, not anymore.
My gaze sweeps toward Hazel’s door, and I listen a little harder. Noah was up here earlier. I could hear the soft murmuring of their conversation, muffled by the walls. I’m not going to lie; I’ve never been so jealous of my sister in my life. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous of her, but seeing how easily she held Noah’s attention and was able to get a whole conversation out of him only added insult to injury.