Total pages in book: 215
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 997(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
As if sensing my gaze like a tug on that invisible tether, Noah’s head lifts, and those dark, haunted eyes come directly to mine, holding me captive. His eyes have always been dark, only today, they’re clouded by shadow. He looks like shit, like today has been hard on him, and I’m not surprised after all the talk of Linc this morning, but this isn’t right. There’s something more there. Guilt, sadness, overwhelming pain. He’s on the edge, ready to break, and knowing he needs me more than ever, my body jolts, desperate to run into his arms and tell him that everything is going to be okay.
My hands twitch at my side, ready to throw caution to the wind and run to him, but I hold back, knowing he’s not ready. Not yet. Especially considering the way he’s looking at me now.
I can’t fault Tarni. She was right. Noah looks at me like a leech who won’t let go. This new version of him doesn’t give a shit about me. I just hope that the old Noah is still buried in there somewhere. I’ve barely gotten past Linc’s passing, and to find out the old Noah doesn’t exist would feel like losing him too.
Noah’s gaze narrows, daring me to try something, but I can’t handle any more of his abuse today. I have a high pain threshold, but tolerating Noah’s constant rejection isn’t something I’m capable of. It’s wearing me down, and soon enough, it’ll drown me. But at least then Noah and I might be on the same level for the first time in three years.
“You coming?” Tarni calls back at me.
Tearing my gaze away from Noah, I look back at Tarni to find her walking backward toward our table, staring at me like I’m some kind of inconvenience. What the hell happened to my best friend? She’s always been blunt, but over the summer we’d never been closer. Now, she’s almost as much of a stranger to me as Noah.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” I tell her, wondering just how lame it would be to go and eat lunch in my car.
As I catch up with her, I can’t help stealing one last glance at Noah. His gaze is trained heavily on his table, ignoring the other football assholes around him, and I know he senses my stare, but he refuses to look up again or allow me the chance to see inside.
He’s hiding in plain sight, and it’s so blatantly obvious how much pain he’s in. It leaves me wondering how the hell nobody else can see it. He’s screaming for help, and the people surrounding him can’t seem to hear it.
God, why the hell does he do this to himself? Doesn’t he understand just how much it kills me to see him hurting like this?
Taking another step toward my table, a hand shoves hard into my shoulder, forcing me to an agonizing stop. My head whips back to find Shannan Holter standing right in front of me, that same wicked smirk I’d seen this morning resting on her lips. “Why are you looking over there?” she questions, moving in dangerously close. “There’s nothing there for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you do,” she sings, her voice hitching higher and gaining the attention of everyone in the cafeteria, especially Noah’s “You’re in love with Noah Ryan, but guess what? He doesn’t want you. I saw the way he looked at you this morning. You’re trash.”
She laughs, and the rest of the school seems to laugh along with her as humiliation pours over me.
“Trash,” she repeats, her grin widening as she leans in even closer.
I roll my eyes and go to step around her, but she steps with me, blocking me and forcing me to stay to play her ridiculous little game. “Don’t you have orphaned puppies to kick or candy to steal from children?”
“It seems I have a break in my schedule,” she says, her eyes dancing with amusement as I feel Noah’s heated stare like lasers on my back. “But don’t you worry about that, I have more than enough time for you.”
“Seriously?” I say, my lips twisting in disgust and boredom. “This is really the kind of bullshit that gets you off? Don’t you see how pathetic this makes you look? The popular cheer captain picking on the typical good girl. You’re such a cliché, Shannan. It’s lame and embarrassing.”
She scoffs, not affected by my words in the least. “What’s cliché is the way you’re drooling over Noah. Now, that’s what I call embarrassing. Look at you, Zoey. You’re pathetic, but don’t you worry, I’m going to dedicate my whole senior year to making sure you know just how fucking pathetic you really are.”
My gaze flicks back to Tarni, watching her from our table as she watches me in return, not doing a damn thing to help me. Then, letting out a sigh, I look back at Shannan. “Perfect, can’t wait,” I say with a forced smile, realizing this is only the beginning. I go to step around her again, and this time she lets me, only I pull back and meet her stare. “By the way,” I say, matching her loud tone. “You’ve got a big chunk of spinach right there between your two front teeth.”