Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 77335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
“I think,” I paused, trying to figure out exactly how to put my feelings into words, “I think I don’t know who I am.”
“How many pain meds are you on?” he asked with a rueful smile, making me laugh.
I placed my hand on my stomach, trying to stop the laugh from jostling my wounds too badly. It hurt, but it was kind of worth it.
“No, I mean my entire life, I have done what I was told, not what I wanted. I have let our father groom me to be what he envisioned. The only time I have ever stood up for myself or fought for anything was for my cello, and even then, it wasn’t to play professionally or follow my dreams. It was to be able to volunteer at charity events. I fought for a compromise.”
“And you’re saying you don’t like that?”
“I don’t like that for my entire life. Other people have made my choices for me. You are following our father’s footsteps, but you’re not letting him dictate your life. You are making your own decisions when it comes to the family empire. Olivia has completely disregarded what Father wanted and forged her own path, trying to make him proud. I just played the good little princess, and it’s not what I want anymore. I don’t think it ever was.”
“Then what do you want?” The question wasn’t said with malice or sarcasm.
He was genuinely asking, and I was at a loss.
It was such a simple question, something that I should have been able to answer, but I just didn’t know.
“You know, I never really gave it much thought because it never even occurred to me to fight for what I want. I don’t know when, but at some point, I stopped considering my own desires because being told I couldn’t have them hurt too much.”
“Okay,” Luc said sitting back in the chair. “You don’t need to know everything right now. But tell me one thing. One thing that you know is incredibly important to you and you are not willing to compromise on.”
“Reid.” His name flew through my lips before I even had a chance to consider it. And I didn’t regret it.
“Reid? I asked you what the most important thing is in your entire life, the one thing you refuse to compromise on anymore, and it isn’t chasing your dreams of being a professional cellist. It isn’t your own apartment, or your own space to discover your passions? It’s your foul-mouthed, uncouth bodyguard?”
“If someone had given you the same opportunity after you met Amelia, would your answer have been anything other than her?”
The truth blazed from his eyes.
I had hit my mark.
Because I knew he loved her more than anything.
Luc may not willingly admit it, but he would give up everything for that woman.
And I didn’t know if it was reciprocated with quite the intensity that I felt, but that’s how I felt about Reid. I wanted to be with him, more than I wanted anything.
“You know Father is not going to approve of this.”
“You didn’t ask me what I wanted that Father would approve of. You asked me what I wanted. This is what I want. Reid is who I want.”
“To be honest, I don’t know if I approve of this. What would that life even look like for you?”
I closed my eyes and tried to picture it.
Living middle class, selling my Hermes bags just because they were a ridiculous luxury. I had a few limited edition ones that would easily start a bidding war through auction houses. Christy’s Auction House would salivate at my jewelry collection. A few pieces I’d bought myself, but most of it was inherited and vintage.
I would spend my mornings practicing my cello, maybe even working for the Philharmonic or another orchestra. I wasn’t quite sure yet. Several groups had tried to recruit me over the years. My music teacher always told me I would have the pick of positions, first chairs, and the most prestigious orchestras in the world.
In the evenings, I would come home to Reid’s one-bedroom apartment and figure out how to make him dinner. There was a lot that I would have to learn, how to cook, how to clean, how to take care of myself instead of being taken care of. I knew how to set a table for eighteen, but I didn’t know how to make a simple dinner for two. The thought should have scared me, but it made me feel excited.
There was so much the world had to offer, and I was going to get to experience real life.
It would be tough, but with Ginnie’s help, I was sure I would be able to adapt.
Fueled by the pain meds, my mind wandered to what that could look like.
Coming home in the evening, fixing a meal for my husband, having it on the table when he walked through the door, and scolding him for tracking mud in on his big boots. At least until I was pregnant. I didn’t even know where that thought came from, but the idea of giving Reid children made me warm and fuzzy inside.