Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 96978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Within a month, I had booked and became a series regular on Family Love, a sitcom that ran for eight seasons. That show changed my life. Not only did it give my mom financial security, she also got the fame and attention she had always desired. And I found a family I desperately needed in the cast and crew.
Well, I found Roxy, or she found me. Whatever. She was my sister from another mother.
Having her in my life made all the craziness of becoming a child star seem bearable. We did everything together, from interviews, to walking the red carpet, you name it, we did it.
Looking back, there were red flags, but I ignored them. I mean, come on, she loved me as much as I loved her. So, she copied my hair, clothes, and talked the same way I did. All best friends do that, right?
And I knew Roxy, even understood all her insecurities, so when she started bad mouthing and lying about people who wanted to be my friend, or flirted with guys whom I thought were cute, I always made excuses for her.
Until Johnny.
I should have known she’d go after him, because Johnny Stevens was the first guy whom I cared about, or really wanted.
Johnny guest-starred in an episode on the show’s last season. His career had just started to take off, nothing like what he is today. I remember my eyes locking with his brown ones and thinking this is it, he’s the one.
He brought light to my darkness with his cocky smile and honey brown hair. I fell hard, and fast. Giving him my V card within the first week, then moving into his condo by the end of the month.
He vowed he’d never felt this way before. That it didn’t matter that I was seventeen and he was twenty-one, I was his good luck charm. And maybe I was, because his career did take off, and by the time my eighteenth birthday came around, Johnny Stevens was a huge movie star.
Was it weird that my best friend was always with us?
Yes.
Should I have set boundaries?
Definitely.
But, to be honest, I just never believed that she or he would ever… Yeah, we were a threesome way more than a duo.
God, I was such an idiot. I actually thought he loved me and was looking out for my best interests when he convinced me that it would be better marketing to keep Roxy with me rather than stepping out solo. I mean, it kind of made sense, since I sang, and she played the guitar on the show. But I was the one who dreamt of being a real musician. I wrote the lyrics, not Roxy, all she could do was play the guitar, and that was average at best.
So, instead of being Broken Vixen. We were Broken Vixens, and the rest is history.
Johnny introduced us to Malcolm Mac, already a legend in the music world. He brought in Patricia (Pat) Dillion on drums, and Melanie Vance on bass, and we went straight to the top.
It was just that easy.
People would kill for our lives. Unfortunately, I couldn’t have been more miserable. Deep inside I think I always knew he was cheating, or maybe I just hated everything that I had become. But that didn’t affect my career. If anything, it fueled it.
Broken Vixens’s debut album Vixens topped the charts for forty-two consecutive weeks, and suddenly we were everywhere. Touring all over the world.
Johnny visited in-between projects, and I continued to lie to myself that that was enough. This went on for four years, us barely seeing each other, and when we did, Roxy made sure she was around.
Four years I clung to the belief that this is just how famous relationships work. Being surrounded by people, never, ever alone.
Until, that night. And in one ugly moment, I lost not only my so-called best friend, but also that fragile façade that I had built in my head fueled by ‘yes’ people and my devoted fans. But I didn’t crumble, I used all of it to my advantage.
Verses, music, it seeped out of me. I hadn’t planned on releasing a solo album, it was my own private therapy, but I couldn’t stop.
Betrayal was basically me word vomiting about my pain. Malcolm produced it and somehow it spoke to my listeners. Not only did I win five Grammys, including Best Album of the Year, and Best Female Artist, I finally grew up.
It took me twenty-three years to get to this spot, and I’m resolved to being alone because my life, and love, is with my music.
“Courtney?” Gina, my assistant’s voice, brings me back to the present. As my eyes dart over to hers, she stands, hand holding her phone, shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably as she yells over the helicopter that’s still hovering.