Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“You know I was the one who dropped her off at her house. I drove her to her place and left her there, knowing it wasn’t safe, I left her, and they took her. Did you know they drugged and raped her so badly that she lost the baby she was carrying?”
Charlotte’s face crumbles, shock and sorrow written all over it. There is so much pain in her eyes it makes it hard to look at her. “Lucas, you couldn’t have known.”
“Aren’t you listening?” I’m full-out yelling now. “I did know. I knew she was unprotected, and I knew people were after her. I still left her there.”
“You know what. I was wrong. You haven’t changed. You still try your best to make everyone see the worst in you. Every time someone gets close, you find a way to hurt them, to drive them away.”
Her words hit me like a thousand-pound weight.
28
DELILAH
Everything is different now. It’s only been a few days, but I hate the distance that seems to have formed between us. It’s like there’s an ocean, and I have no way to cross it. I can’t shake the feeling that something is up, even if I can’t put my finger on it. Against my better judgment, I follow my gut instinct and take the elevator to Lucas’s apartment.
I should stay away, but I can’t. I just can’t. Maybe that makes me desperate or fucked up, but I know he feels the same way.
Lucas wants me like I want him. I know it. I felt it the other night.
As soon as I step off the elevator, I hide in the dark corner closest to his door. It’s dark enough that no one will see me unless they run right into me. I hope to catch him as he comes out since the fear of me knocking and Xander possibly being there might give me a heart attack.
I can still see the way he looked at me with blatant disgust. It was enough shame to last me a lifetime. I’m not sure how long I wait, but now I worry he’s not in his apartment at all. I guess I should have checked before I decided to stay here forever.
I’m starting to wonder if I should return to my dorm when the knob turns. I hold my breath, pressing myself into the corner as tightly as I can in case it is Xander who comes walking out. I know he’s only a man, but I get the feeling he would somehow sense me being here. Just to spite me. He wouldn’t want to miss a chance at hurling an insult.
It isn’t Xander. It isn’t even a man. It’s a woman, blond and beautiful. She has a sweet, angelic face, and she’s obviously older than me.
She turns and looks over her shoulder before stepping past the threshold. “Let me know if you change your mind.” As if I needed the truth smashed upside my head. I would have guessed this was the mystery woman without hearing her voice, which is the same as the one I heard coming from inside Lucas’s office.
So this is her. And she’s here, staying at Corium. She must be. She’s not wearing a coat or carrying a bag. Like she wandered over for a visit, the way our neighbors used to do back at the trailer.
She walks away from me rather than crossing my path, and that can only be a good thing since I’m not sure I’m strong enough to stay still, hidden, if she was that close. I don’t know what I would do exactly. Say something? Ask who she is, why she’s here, and who she is to Lucas. As if I have any right to know. I’m sure she would laugh at me. How could I ever think I meant anything to him when he already had someone in his life?
Instead of pressing myself into the corner, I’m leaning into it as the strength drains from my body, and a hot, sick feeling takes its place. How much more of this am I going to put myself through? I can’t even blame Lucas for this. I know this woman exists—and I told him so, though we never did get around to discussing her after I threw her in his face. We sort of got distracted.
But I knew she existed the whole time and let myself forget about her. Why do I keep walking into situations I know will only hurt me? Stupid, Delilah. I’ve never been good enough for anybody, just as I am. Never smart enough, never pretty enough. Not enough to be part of my own family. Not enough to have any real friends. Always on the outside, wishing for a chance to show somebody how worthwhile I am… and never getting it.