Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
She snorts, and it turns into a giggle. “Was I doing that? I didn’t know I was doing that.”
“It’s a surefire way to strain your neck. Not to mention, you’re leaving yourself wide open for a crack against the jaw.” I stand behind her and gently take her head between my hands. “Now. Throw a punch.” She does, this time with me holding her head steady. “Do you see the difference?”
“Yeah, I guess I do. I still have a lot to learn.”
“And you have me to teach you.” There are moments like this when it almost feels like we’re a real father and daughter. I wonder how much of her desire to train is real and how much comes from a desire to spend time with me. I can’t imagine why she’d want to. I know I don’t want to be around me, and I don’t have a choice.
“What did you have in mind today?”
She turns away from the bag, shrugging. “I don’t know exactly. It just seems like…” Her gaze drops to the floor.
“Out with it.”
“I’m just saying, if things are starting to heat up around here, I would like to be able to defend myself if I have to.”
Right away, I bite my tongue against the worst of what wants to pour out. “You have nothing to worry about, and I mean that. Don’t let yourself think otherwise.”
“That’s easier said than done.” We head over to the mats, where we normally practice hand-to-hand combat. I’m not sure I have it in me today, but then she never presents much of a threat. Over time, she’s gotten better, but physics is still on my side.
“There’s no reason for anyone to go after you. So long as you keep your head down and mind your business, that is.”
Bullseye. She looks away, chewing her lip. “I can’t just ignore her the way everybody else has.”
“That’s exactly what you can do. And it’s what you have to do.”
“But don’t you see? I know some of how she feels. I know what it’s like to be alone and to know everybody hates you. She needs a friend.”
“It’s not going to be you.” When she opens her mouth like she wants to keep arguing, I snap, “Enough, already. Quit it.”
Her eyes widen, and once again, I’m left knowing I fucked up.
“You have to know there’s nothing more important than your safety,” I remind her in a calmer voice.
“You know how much that means to me. But sometimes, I have to make my own choices, too. And I’m getting a little tired of trying to get that through your head—and Quinton’s.”
This is all wrong. How am I ever supposed to tell her what needs to be said if all we’re doing is bickering over Delilah? “Let’s put it aside for now. We’re already here, and I’ll never deny you the opportunity to learn more about how to defend yourself.” We go through a few practice moves, both loosening up and getting into the rhythm of things.
That is, Aspen gets into the rhythm of things. “What’s the matter?” she asks, standing with her hands on her hips, hardly out of breath, while I pant for air. Son of a bitch. I haven’t had a drop to drink in almost forty-eight hours, and I still feel like I got run over.
“Nothing. Why?”
She tips her head to the side, smirking. “Come on. You’re never off your game like this. And no offense, but you don’t look well.”
“I don’t remember asking how I look.”
Rather than smart off some more, she reaches out and places a hand on my arm. “Seriously. What’s the matter? Do you need help with something? Is there anything I can do?”
The sincerity glowing in her eyes is murder. Would it be there if she knew what I’d kept from her? She has a right to know her mother is alive. I know that’s how she’ll take it, too. Her sense of justice doesn’t allow itself for much of a gray area. Either I told her, or I didn’t. It doesn’t matter what the reasons were.
“No, I don’t think there’s anything you can do,” I lie. You can forgive me for what’s about to happen.
“What’s on your mind? Did you get any sleep last night? You know, we didn’t have to do this today. It would have been okay if you’d said no.”
“I don’t want to say no to you,” I rattle off before thinking. It’s the truth, but rarely have I been so open. I’m too busy trying to figure out how I’m going to drop the bomb to give much thought to what tumbles out of my mouth otherwise.
She offers a tiny smile. “Thank you. That’s nice.”
“I’m nobody’s idea of an ideal parent, am I?” We circle each other slowly, occasionally feigning a lunge to draw the other one out.