Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“You need to think this one through again,” he suggests in a quiet voice on the way past our chairs.
I’m so damn lost. And it feels weird sitting here with Lucas when he’s clearly in the mood to damage something. Seconds tick by, and I remain silent, waiting for him to speak.
I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to stay silent on this. Even if he’s in a dangerous mood. His mood swings are enough to give me whiplash, and it’s my life hanging in the balance. Don’t I get a say in this? The courage builds, and from there, I finally gather up the strength to speak.
“I thought you wanted me to have a new start.” I stare down at the plate, willing myself not to look at him. If I do, I might cry, and I’m tired of crying.
“I did—do.”
My gaze escapes the plate, and I find myself staring at him. It’s amazing I can understand him, his jaw is clenched so tight.
“But now I’m going back to Corium with you? Why?”
“Why do you need to know?” The way he looks at me brings back memories of those first days. He was so hateful and cold. How can he look at me that way again? Like last night never happened, like his gentleness after rescuing me was my imagination playing tricks. No! I’m not going to let him intimidate me the way I used to.
I lift my chin and somehow manage to speak even though I can’t stop trembling under his cold gaze. “Because it’s my life. You had me thinking I’d start making my own choices, and now it’s all changed again.”
He stands again, breakfast forgotten. “You were the one who wanted things to go back to the way they were before, right? You wanted somebody else to make your choices for you and all that, remember?” The gruffness of his voice slices right through me. “Well, you’ve got what you wanted.”
I wince before I can help it and the darkness in his gaze lessens, becoming softer. He’s said and done a lot of terrible things to me. He’s hurt me deeper than most people ever have, which is saying something, but that was low. He took something I confessed in private and used it against me.
“Listen.” He looks almost sorry, but I’m not stupid. I don’t think he’s capable of true remorse. “How am I supposed to let you go off on your own now when I know there are people out there who might want revenge for killing Nathaniel? I can’t keep an eye on you and manage a school at the same time. Tell me you understand that you’d be safer at Corium?”
No. I don’t. “Nic said it already. They could do all kinds of things to me there without actually killing me.” Not to mention the way Aspen murdered Nash in the dorms. She’s still there. Living like a queen, treated like her shit doesn’t stink.
“But the chances of that happening are much slimmer than if you were in an apartment of your own. I’m sorry, but this is for the best.” He marches out of the room before I can reply, but it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t know what to say, and it would only be a waste of breath anyway. He has his mind made up.
It doesn’t seem right that I’m not completely upset about the change in plans. I wasn’t looking forward to living on my own, not only because I don’t know much about navigating my own life. It was his idea to send me away in the first place. Not mine.
Now, there’s a reason to still be around him. That was what hurt the most. Knowing he didn’t want me around. Having to look forward to the rest of my lonely life without him. It’s not right. I know it isn’t.
But that doesn’t change how I feel. I don’t have to be alone, and I know he won’t let anything happen to me at school.
Ironically, it might be the safest place in the world.`
11
LUCAS
Once again, it’s late at night, and one of us is wide awake. This time, though, I’m the one staring at the ceiling while Delilah sleeps peacefully.
That isn’t the only difference. Rather than cuddling up close to me the way she’s been doing since we got here, there’s an ocean between us. Only a couple of feet in this king-size bed, but it may as well be a mile.
I don’t have to wonder why. She’s just as upset with me now as she was earlier today. I don’t know what she wants from me. I’m handling this the only way I can: scrambling to adjust to each new twist.
One thing I know for sure. No way would I be able to function as anything close to a human being with the threat of her being in danger hanging over my every move and thought.