Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“I know. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”
Aspen shakes her head like she doesn’t want to hear any of my excuses. “I can’t believe you. I trusted you.”
“You can trust me.”
“All I can trust is that you keep things from me.”
“Aspen, I…” The apology lodges in my throat.
“Aspen, why don’t you sit down, and we all take a minute to breathe,” Lauren suggests, but Aspen is already shaking her head.
She turns to Charlotte, her gaze filled with so many emotions as she sees her mother for the first time in her life. “I’m sorry,” Aspen apologizes, although she is the one who has nothing to be sorry about. “I can’t do this right now. This is too much.”
“Come one, let’s go back to our place for now.” Quinton wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her toward the door. Aspen leans into Q for support and lets him lead her away.
The door closes behind them, and I can feel the fragile relationship between Aspen and me crumbling to the ground. She might be a forgiving person, but even her kindness has limits. How often can I disappoint her without her turning her back on me?
“Lucas?” Charlotte’s timid voice pulls me out of my self-loathing thoughts.
“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.” I know this is not Charlotte’s fault, but it’s hard not to snap at her.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Lauren comforts Charlotte. “This isn’t easy for any of you, and it would be a shock to Aspen no matter what. Give her time to process, and I’m sure she’ll be happy to meet you.”
“What if she won’t?” Charlotte sobs, hanging her head low as she buries her face in her palms. “What if she never wants to see me again.”
“That’s not gonna happen. If anything, she is going to hate me for this.” I take a seat on the couch next to Charlotte. There is a foot between us, but she still scoots an extra few inches away from me.
“Lucas is right,” Lauren agrees, “and that’s something I don’t say often.”
Charlotte is not convinced, her sobbing only intensifying. I don’t know how to console someone or comfort them when they are hurting, but there is a strong urge to do so now. I owe her that much. After everything I’ve done to Charlotte, I owe it to her.
“Lauren, you can go now.”
“Are you sure—”
I shut her up with a stern look that leaves no room for discussion. “Go.”
She glances over at Charlotte with a rueful expression. “Fine, I’ll go, but call if you need me. Both of you. Charlotte, feel free to come and see me in the medical wing.”
Charlotte simply nods, not even looking up at Lauren, who gets up and leaves the room in a hurry. She closes the door softly, leaving Charlotte and me alone in our misery.
I let her cry in silence for a few more minutes, giving me time to figure out what I am going to say without sounding like the huge asshole I am.
“Lauren is right, you know,” I break the silence. “Give Aspen time; she is going to want to meet you. I should have told her as soon as you called. I’m sorry.”
At the last part, Charlotte finally looks up. Her bloodshot eyes scan me carefully. “Did you just apologize to me?”
“Yes, and I mean it. I am sorry. Sorry for today and back then.”
“Wow… I imagined this day to go all kinds of ways. You apologizing wasn’t one of them. You’ve really changed, and I can tell how much Aspen means to you.”
“She does, and I’m not used to that.”
“I always knew this part of you was just hiding, waiting to come out.”
“No!” I jump up from my seat, knocking against the coffee table. My quick movement has Charlotte jolt, pulling up her arms like she is getting ready to protect herself. Her fear only drives my point home. “Just because there is a tiny part of me that’s good doesn’t make me a good person. The rest of me is still rotten.”
“I don’t believe that.” She drops her hands into her lap, interlacing her fingers as if that would hide how they are trembling.
“Believe what you want. It won’t change the truth. I’m a bad person and an even worse father. You were right to keep her away from me.”
“The fact that you worry about not being a good father is the very thing that makes you a good parent. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Aspen clearly cares about you. She loves you.”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “She almost died because of me. She was literally starving, bullied so badly she didn’t want to leave her room, and what did I do? Nothing.”
When will Charlotte stop trying to make me into a good person? Even now, she looks at me like she wants to help me. There is no hope. Why doesn’t she see it?