Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
“I’ll never get used to how responsive you are to me, soaked and begging for my cock.” He buries his face in the crook of my neck and sucks on the skin, eliciting a moan from deep within my chest out of me.
Balancing himself on one arm, he snakes a hand between my legs, his fingertips graze my folds, and I mewl like a cat in heat. It’s almost embarrassing how badly I want him right now.
Panting against the shell of my ear, he growls, “So wet, you’re like a waterfall, gushing your sweet arousal all over my fingers.”
“I need you,” I murmur, grabbing onto his biceps, sinking my nails into them.
“Fuck, bug.” The arousal, in his words, zings through me. Giving in to my need, he lines himself up at my entrance and slowly pushes in. Lifting my hips, I try to get him to move faster, deeper, but he just shifts with me and continues moving at an agonizingly slow pace.
“Please, Jackson,” I whimper, hoping to win him over.
“I’m going to make this last because I don’t know when you’ll let me do this again,” he murmurs against my skin while sliding inside of me to the hilt.
I wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling him even closer until there is no space between us. Until his breaths and heartbeat become mine. Until we’re one, encapsulated in time.
Every stroke fills me, heals me, and as the pleasure overtakes the pain, I feel my mind and body forgetting, letting go.
“I want to be inside you forever,” Jackson whispers against my lips.
“Yes, don’t stop.” I lift my hips and press my heels into his ass, urging him to go faster, but he doesn’t rush, doesn’t move any faster. He takes me slow and steady, bringing me to the edge of pleasure over and over again, making it impossible for me to feel anything but him.
After I’ve come two times, and we’re covered in sweat, Jackson ups his pace a little and explodes deep inside of me. The warmth of his seed inside me gives me a strange comfort. Rolling off of me, Jackson drops to the mattress beside me.
Breathing heavily, we both lie on our backs, staring up at the ceiling. I feel drained but in a good way. I’m content, happy, sated… but I know I won’t feel this way for long.
As the fog of lust is lifted, and my endorphin-filled brain slowly returns to normal, the familiar feeling of dread returns. The urge to go into the bathroom and find a blade is on my mind yet again. It’s the one thing I can rely on. When it all becomes too much, one cut shuts it off. I don’t want to die, that’s not what this is about. I need something to help me cope.
I can’t rely on my parents, I don’t have any friends, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust Jackson again. He might be here now, but how long will that last? How long before he changes his mind, how long before he realizes I’m too broken to be fixed?
Tears run down my face without my permission. I try to hide that I’m crying, holding in a sob, my chest cracking, the pain radiating outward, but of course, Jackson looks over to me.
“Are you crying?” He shifts onto his side and pulls me toward him, so we’re facing each other. “What’s wrong, bug? Tell me.”
“I love you,” I cry out. “But I can’t do this. I can’t trust you, not after everything that happened between us. I can’t let myself love you and depend on you, knowing that you could leave any day. I need more, something that I don’t think you can give me.”
“I love you too, Kennedy, and I’m not going anywhere. I know I fucked up. Trust me, I know, but I’m not leaving.” He cradles my face with his big hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away some of the tears. He knows I’m fragile, and I’ve already trusted him once. I can’t let myself down again. I can’t forget the power that he holds, how with the snap of his fingers, he could be gone again.
“I can’t forget what you said that day,” I confess. “I can’t forget you standing next to Tylor and saying those things to me. I can’t forget how you looked at me…”
Without another word, he pulls me into his arms and holds me tight against his chest. “I’m so sorry. You will never know how sorry I am. I know I can’t erase what I said and what I did to you, but I will never leave you again. I will prove it to you. I don’t care how long it takes for you to forgive me. I don’t even care if you never fully forgive me. I would deserve it. But I will not let you down again.”