Regretting You Read online J.L. Beck, Cassandra Hallman (Blackthorn Elite #4)

Categories Genre: Angst, Dark, Erotic, New Adult, Romance Tags Authors: , Series: Blackthorn Elite Series by J.L. Beck
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Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
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Still, it’s strange to see him directing that rage at someone else, especially a girl that I know would do anything to be with him.

“Let go of me, you’re hurting me,” Crystal whimpers, tugging her arm from his grasp.

“I’ll do more than hurt you if you talk to her like that again,” he seethes, and Crystal takes a step back, her nose in the air.

“I can’t believe I ever thought of hooking up with you.” The disgust on Crystal’s face makes her look as if she’s tasted something sour.

Jackson laughs. “Like you had a chance in hell. Run along, and if you talk any more shit about Kennedy, you’ll be answering to me.”

Crystal turns on her high heels and walks away. Though it was very entertaining to see Jackson stick up for me, it changes nothing. It can’t. I can’t be with someone who hurt me like he did, who used my weakness against me. He knew how broken I was, knew how much I was hurting, and he still hit below the belt.

“You okay?” Jackson’s question slices through my thoughts.

“I’m fine.” I hold my head high, ignoring the stares we’ve earned from the little spat.

Wrinkles of worry form against Jackson’s forehead. “I’m sorry she is such a bitch.”

I shake my head. “Don’t apologize. I’m used to being beat down and treated like shit. I’ll survive, plus, it’s not like it’s the first time someone told me to kill myself.” I smile, knowing it’s a low blow, but I don’t care. He hurt me, ripped my heart out of my chest. He deserves to feel my pain, and it doesn’t matter how I deliver said pain.

“I deserve that…” He nods as if he’s reading my mind.

“I’ve got to go to my next class,” I say, pushing past him.

“Of course, let’s go.” He turns to follow me. It’s annoying, and I grit my teeth to keep the words inside my mouth.

Two classes later, and Jackson is still waiting for me after each class. I figured he would get bored after the first class, but he’s still following me around like a lost puppy. Anger grows, pulsing deep in my chest.

“I don’t want your pity, and I want you to stop following me,” I growl, walking right up to him. He looks down at me with an impassive look on his face. His green eyes twinkle in the afternoon sun. Why does something so cruel, so dangerous, get to be so gorgeous?

“I don’t pity you, and I’m not following you. I made a promise, and I’m sticking to it. I’ve screwed up a lot over the last couple of months. I didn’t ask questions, didn’t think things through, and that’s my fault. I don’t want to lose you, though, and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I don’t.”

“You’ll be trying for a while then.” I cross my arms over my chest, irritated and ready to go home.

“Do your worst to me, Kennedy, god knows, I deserve it. Push me away, hate me, fight me, draw my blood, and rip my damn heart out, but I’m not going anywhere. I will be here every day, as a rock you can lean on or a damn post you can whip your anger at.”

I don’t tell him what he says makes me smile.

I don’t tell him anything. I don’t react at all.

I just walk away, heading toward my apartment and allow him to think whatever he wants to think. I won’t let Jackson know a damn thing, because I’m not interested in heartbreak warfare. I’m interested in living because I’m done simply surviving.

29

Jackson

My back is one giant ache. It’s so stiff I can barely move around. I feel like an old man needing a cane to walk, grunting every time I stand up straight. Sleeping on Kennedy’s couch is killing me, but I’d rather take this pain ten times over than leave her.

Kennedy hasn’t talked to me much, she tries to ignore me most of the time, but at least she doesn’t tell me to leave anymore. She gave up on that a few days ago when she finally realized I’m not going anywhere.

The only time we’ve been separated is when one of us is in class. I skipped all my classes for a week, so I could take and pick her up from each of hers, but I knew I couldn’t do that forever. I’m planning to start going back this week. I just wanted to give Kennedy a chance to get back into the swing of things.

Twisting and turning on the couch, I try to get comfortable even though I know there is no way. Defeated, I roll off onto the ground and stretch out. It’s not as soft as the couch, but at least I can lie flat and don’t have to tuck my legs in.


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