Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
“Good. Maybe we’re not enemies anymore, but we aren’t friends either. I don’t know what the hell we are or even what we’re doing, but it can’t ever be more than sex, Kennedy. Okay?” It’s like he’s reassuring himself more than me, but I don’t say that. I don’t want to fight with him after sharing such an incredible moment together.
“I understand,” I tell him, hiding the emotions from my voice. I lift my gaze up and away from my hands and find him staring at me. I can’t make out what he’s thinking, but I’m not really trying either. All I’ll ever be to him is someone to get off with. Someone he can use for pleasure and discard afterward.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Without saying goodbye, he walks out of my apartment. The pieces of my heart that I was sure he’d fused back together, shatter all over again. I roll over and sob into the pillow that smells like us, wishing that things could be different because, for once, I truly don’t want to feel like I deserve to be reminded of the past. I want to heal and move on.
I just don’t think it’ll be with Jackson.
21
Jackson
When Talon asked me to come with him, I thought going to a party was what I needed. I’ve spent the last few days staying out of Kennedy’s way. After the sex we had the other night, I figured I needed a breather. I’m on the verge of getting too attached to her, too intimate. Something that can’t happen. I’m just figuring out how not to hate her. I can’t deal with any other feeling growing.
So, my solution… coming to this party. Turns out, I was wrong. There isn’t shit here for me. I sit on a couch in the frat house, a cup of cold beer in my hand. My friends are laughing and talking. Chicks are running around rampant with little to no clothing on just begging to be fucked, and I can’t seem to think about anything but Kennedy.
What’s she doing right now?
She has been on my mind constantly. Even when I don’t intend to think about her, I do. I worry about her, wonder how she’s coping, but I can’t bring myself to ask. It’s like the only way I know how to communicate with her is through the use of my body.
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn to look down at it.
“Jackson,” Crystal purrs into my ear a moment later. I’m tempted to shrug her hand off. “Are you ignoring me?” She twists her body, so her tits are brushing against my arm.
“Nope, not ignoring you. Didn’t even know you were here.” I try not to sound like a dick, but she’d know if I was interested, which I’m not.
“Well, now, you know.” She giggles, and it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I’m so annoyed, I tighten my grasp on the cup in my hand.
“Yup,” I grind out.
Talon is watching me out of the corner of his eye, probably waiting for me to explode.
“Do you want to go upstairs with me?” She leans in closer, rubbing her tits on me like a cat in heat. Her teeth graze my ear, and I’ve had enough. This feels wrong, all fucking wrong. I jump up off the couch, sloshing some of the beer out of my cup in the process.
I can feel everyone in our small circle gawking at me, and I need to get the fuck out of here. This isn’t where I want to be, and these aren’t the people I want to be with right now.
“I’m leaving, man,” I tell Talon, who has some chick sitting on his lap. She’s grinding her ass against his groin so I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t hear me.
“You sure?” he asks, surprising me.
“Yeah, are you sure you want to leave so soon?” Crystal pouts, leaning against the couch, giving me a full view of her cleavage, which is bursting from her V-neck shirt. All I can do is shake my head.
“I’m not interested,” I growl.
Turning away from them, I don’t say anything else and walk out of the room. On the way out, I toss my half drank beer onto the lawn, right along with the cup. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I check the time, wondering if Kennedy is still awake. I could call her, but what would be the fun in that?
Taking the chance that she is, I get in my car and drive over to her place. I find a parking spot and then walk inside. By the time I reach her door, I’m only second-guessing myself a little bit about coming here. I’m still angry, and I’ll always be sad, but like my mother told me, she lost Jillian that night too. Maybe we can be sad and angry together for a while?