Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 151085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 504(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 151085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 755(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 504(@300wpm)
“He does need the full picture,” Takira says. “So they can know exactly what we’re dealing with.”
Neevah heaves an exasperated sigh. “So maybe there was some stress, yeah, but nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“I’m sure you’re aware stress is one of the main triggers for flare-ups,” Dr. Baines says. “In talking with your rheumatologists, we suspect your lupus diagnosis has evolved and we may need to broaden the original assessment of what we’re dealing with.”
The corners of Neevah’s eyes tighten. “What does that mean?”
“We won’t know for sure until we see the results of the biopsy,” Dr. Baines says, hesitation obvious in his voice. “Neevah, all signs indicate you’re not just dealing with discoid lupus, but possibly nephritis. Probably systemic lupus, but again, I don’t feel comfortable confirming that until we get the biopsy results.”
Neevah draws a sharp breath, and her fingers tighten around mine, but I don’t give any indication I see her fear. I stroke along the ink decorating her thumb, hoping I can offer some measure of comfort even silently. I’m trying to remain as calm as possible, but inwardly, panic takes off like a runner, sprinting past reason. Evan’s voice echoes in my head and I hear him telling us just this morning that systemic lupus is the life-threatening one, and what a relief that’s not what Neevah has. I’d never heard someone use the phrase systemic lupus until today, and they’re suddenly the most important words in the world.
“No.” Neevah shakes her head, her wig going a little more askew. “Dr. Ansford said . . . she told me it was discoid.”
“And based on the information your body presented to her a few years ago, even four months ago, that diagnosis was appropriate,” Dr. Baines says. “But a lot has happened over the last four months, and things can escalate very quickly. We can’t say for sure until after the biopsy, so let’s go ahead and get it done so we can see what comes back.”
“Okay.” Neevah stares at the bed with wide, unfocused eyes, like she’s looking at something none of us can see, and I guess she is. Takira and I are here for her, but it’s her body.
It shocks me that I would literally put myself in her place if it meant sparing her the possible road ahead, but the truth of it hits me standing by her bed and watching the fear soak into her eyes. I felt this way with my mom over and over. Watching MS steal so much from her, feeling helpless, but wanting to be strong for her. I don’t know what those test results will tell us, but I do know what it’s like to walk a hard road with someone you love.
I’ve done it before. I can do it again.
56
Neevah
There’s a heaviness in the room even before the three doctors say one word. Two of them I know, Dr. Ansford from New York via video conference, and Dr. Baines, the doctor who talked with me a few days ago. I don’t know the third doctor, which instantly puts me a little on the defensive. I’ve been here three days and never seen her. I’ve started the prednisone, the drug I spent the last few years of my life avoiding, and I have to admit, it seems to be helping. My blood pressure is down. I have much more energy and feel somewhat better, but Dr. Baines wanted to keep me for observation until the kidney biopsy results came back.
Takira is on set helping with the extras and crowd shots. They’re shooting everything they can while I’m out, but at a certain point they’ll run out of scenes they can do without me. That’s why I’m eager to get this news, figure out what needs to be done, and get back to set.
Canon insisted on being here, which makes me feel even more guilty. He says Kenneth is the best AD in the business and can handle a few crowd shots on his own.
“You okay?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed beside me, his voice low and concerned.
“Yeah.” I smile and nod to reassure him and hope that everything will be okay.
But this new doctor doesn’t help.
If you can have an air of competence, this woman carries it. Her eyes are steady, framed by a faint network of laugh lines stenciled into her smooth brown skin. With her long dreadlocks pulled into a stylish updo, she emits a confidence that probably puts most patients at ease right away. I feel nervous because she’s here and has never been before, indicating a new bend in the road on my journey with this disease.
* * *
“Neevah,” Dr. Baines says, “I’d like to introduce you to Dr. Okafor. She’s a very well-respected nephrologist who we’ve asked to consult on your case.”