Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 67982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67982 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Kevin laughs as he follows me into the locker room. “How is it that either you or I could single-handedly work on a traumatic brain injury case or a gunshot wound to the chest, but give us a little boy with tears and we can’t do it alone?”
“That’s why pediatrics is a specialty all unto its own,” I say with a chuckle. I go to my locker, unlock and open it to pull my purse out. Most doctors bring in a gym bag with a change of clothes, but since I never go anywhere but home, I’m comfortable wearing my scrubs out of here.
Kevin’s also off shift, so he pulls his stuff out of his locker at the end of the row. He gives me a quick glance and says, “We never had that golden touch that Aiden had with patients. He could calm a snarling, drunk beast with a broken leg or have a kid smiling as he stitched him up.”
A simultaneous feeling of fondness and bitterness hits me all at once at the mention of Aiden’s name.
Kevin doesn’t notice and continues to ramble on. “Remember in residency? Most people felt he was just cold and detached, but he really wasn’t. He just projected such utter calm that people were naturally put at ease by him.”
My throat closes and I have to cough to open it up. “Yeah…He had that special gift.”
“Oh shit, Josie,” Kevin says apologetically, and I turn to look at him. His expression is regretful. “I wasn’t thinking. Just memories came flooding back.”
Boy, did they come flooding back. I can go most days without ever thinking of Aiden. Three years of residency at Duke together where we fell in love and planned to conquer the world together. Kevin and Aidan were pretty tight during those years, and the three of us hung out a lot along with a fellow colleague that Kevin had been dating at the time.
“It’s all right,” I assure him as I hitch my purse over my shoulder while giving him a lackluster smile. “Those were good memories.”
His eyes are doleful as he returns my gaze.
Knowing.
I hate myself for it, but I clear my throat, fiddle with the strap on my purse. Not able to look him in the eye, I ask, “Have you heard from him lately?”
Kevin’s silent a moment and it forces me to look up at him. He thankfully wipes his face free of sympathy or pity, and shakes his head with a wry smile. “Nah…he’s too much of a globetrotter to stay in constant contact. I got an email from him about six months ago. He was in Yemen. Battling a cholera outbreak in the middle of a war.”
My stomach flips and threatens to hurl on me. The thought of Aiden in so much danger, all while still being pissed at him for choosing that life over one here with me, causes extreme emotions within me. That’s why I try not to think of him most days, and most days I’m pretty damn successful.
“Saving the world,” I mutter under my breath, then I change my expression to one of cool indifference. “Well, I got to get going. Lots to do tonight.”
New puzzle of kittens playing in a basketful of yarn.
God…no wonder Aiden chose a dangerous, exciting life working in impoverished war-torn countries. How could I have possibly kept his interest for the long term?
“Have a good night, Josie,” Kevin says as he puts his gym bag on a bench and starts pulling out workout clothes. He’s clearly going to take advantage of the small gym here at the hospital.
“Back at ya,” I say lightly as I turn for the door.
My shoulders are tight with tension as I walk the back corridors to the emergency room lobby. All the ugly feelings of bitterness toward Aiden for choosing a life for us I didn’t want. For making me fall in love with him and leading me on to believe that we’d be together forever.
For tossing all of our plans to get married, build a life together, and the happily ever after that never occurred.
All because he “got a calling” two years ago to join Doctors Without Borders, and that appealed to him more than I did.
There’s a small internal voice inside of me calling out weakly, telling me I’m not exactly being fair to Aiden. It’s not like I didn’t know he had a passion for that type of work. And it’s not like he didn’t talk about it to some extent as we were making grand plans after we completed our residency. Mostly, it’s not like he didn’t ask me to come with him so we could be together. But I push that voice aside. I choose not to let the hurt and anger dominate my thoughts, or otherwise I’d succumb to heartbreak again. And that’s something I decided I wouldn’t do anymore.