Total pages in book: 34
Estimated words: 31869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 159(@200wpm)___ 127(@250wpm)___ 106(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 31869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 159(@200wpm)___ 127(@250wpm)___ 106(@300wpm)
Which they didn’t.
Instead, they came to a stop in the middle of the lake and started setting something up in the center of the canoe.
And then, they really fucking did it.
They lit a shit-ton of fireworks in the center of the boat, and just as those damn things started to go off, Jude and Thatch cheered at the top of their lungs and dove off the canoe and into the water.
“Da-da! Boom!” Ace cheered, completely oblivious to the crazy shit his father had just attempted. “Da-da! Boom! Boom!”
The sky lit up in a blaze of glory—beautiful golds and pinks and greens.
But the canoe also went up in its own blaze of glory. Flames higher than I thought were possible to occur on a fucking lake started to burn from the canoe like a Viking funeral on steroids.
Of course, there was no stopping the ongoing fireworks display after that, and it kept going off with jolting, thunderous bangs. All the while, each spark added fuel to the canoe fire until the damn things just exploded.
Literally. Exploded. On the lake.
“Da-da! Booooooooo-m! Da-da! Boooooom!”
“And people wonder why I threaten murder on Thatch sometimes,” Cassie muttered as she watched her husband and Jude climb out of the water and onto the dock. Once they were standing, they were smiling and laughing and high-fiving each other. “It’s because of him doing stupid shit like this.”
“Well,” my aunt Paula chimed in on a soft laugh, her patience apparently knowing no bounds. “At least that canoe was the only casualty.”
“I don’t think Thatch and Jude should be allowed to hang out with each other anymore,” Georgia stated. “I know they’re grown men and all, but I think, in the name of the safety of humanity, we need to stop that friendship before it goes any further. I mean, if explosive canoes are at the beginning, what happens when they’ve been buds for, like, ten years?”
Holy hell. I grimaced, and I definitely couldn’t deny that Georgia had a point.
Especially when, ten minutes later, the Greenwood Fire Department showed up at my aunt and uncle’s lake house because someone on the other side of the lake had called in an explosion.
And for the next hour after that, we had to watch the guys and a bunch of firefighters head out onto the water and extinguish the still-flaming canoe.
Well, this certainly isn’t a Fourth of July we’ll ever forget…
Once the chaos from Thatch and Jude’s fireworks show settled down, Georgia, Cassie, and I took the kids inside to get ready for bed while Wes and Kline grilled up some burgers to feed the men of the Greenwood Fire Department.
Surely, after the ridiculous situation that had brought them out here in the first place, providing a Fourth of July dinner was the least we could do.
My gorgeous daughter was freshly bathed and sitting on her bed in her favorite footie pajamas, and as I brushed her wet hair, an unexpected laugh hopped from my lungs.
“What’s so funny, Mommy?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder at me.
“Your uncles Thatch and Jude.”
“Because of the fire they started?”
“Yes,” I answered through a snort.
“Fireworks are a known fire hazard.”
“That is a fact that was definitely proven tonight.” I nodded, set down the brush, and began separating her hair into sections so I could braid it.
“The flames from that canoe were high. I’d estimate they were at least ten feet tall before the explosion occurred.”
Before the explosion occurred. The reality that a damn explosion actually happened was a good argument to back up Georgia’s thoughts of the evening—Thatch and Jude shouldn’t be allowed to hang out together.
“Tomorrow, I’m going to talk to them about fire safety.”
“You know what, Lex? I think that’s a really good plan,” I answered through a knowing smile. “Those two certainly need a little educating.”
“Do you think Aunt Cassie is really going to kill Uncle Thatch?”
“What? No.” A shocked laugh burst from my throat. “No, baby. That’s just something adults say sometimes when they’re mad.”
“That’s good because it’s illegal. She’d have to go to jail.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Murder comes with some jail time.”
“Statistically speaking, first-degree murder usually equates to a life sentence in prison. Unless it occurs in a state with the death penalty.”
Well, damn. Shit just got dark…
“Uh…Lex…” I furrowed my brow and paused my hands in her hair. “How do you know that?”
“Because of Jim Can’t Swim.”
“Huh? What does that mean?”
“Jim Can’t Swim,” she repeated. “Well, actually, he goes by JCS now.”
“Should I know what you’re talking about?”
“It’s a YouTube channel about criminal psychology,” she answered nonchalantly. “They show the interrogations of the criminals that occur during an investigation and bring up stimulating points about the way the human mind works.”
My eyes went wide. Oh, holy hell.
“Baby, I think that might be a little too heavy for someone your age to be watching.”