Total pages in book: 34
Estimated words: 31869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 159(@200wpm)___ 127(@250wpm)___ 106(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 31869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 159(@200wpm)___ 127(@250wpm)___ 106(@300wpm)
“Are you kidding?” My handsome husband laughed. “I’d take a week away with lots of getaway-sex over some event at BAD any fucking day.”
“Oh,” I teased. “Did I forget to mention that this is a sex-free vacation?”
Wes lunged, across the console and nearly on top of me, taking my mouth in a laughing kiss that made my head spin with endorphins. Man, there’s literally nothing that feels better than doing this with my husband.
“Now, now,” he said, nipping at my mouth. “There are no approved water shortages, and there won’t be any. Do you hear me, Mrs. Lancaster?”
“Water shortages?” I giggled and scrunched up my nose. “What are you talking about?”
He smiled. “It’s a Thatch thing. I guess you had to be there.”
“Ohh,” I said with a snort. “You mean Cassie cutting him off.”
“You know?”
“Of course, I know all about it. Cassie’s ability to overshare is alive and well, power outage or not.”
Wes nodded, popping the door handle and shoving open his door to climb out of our SUV. “Thatch, too. They really are a match made in heaven.”
My phone buzzed in my lap as I pulled the handle on my own door, and the screen spoke highly of irony.
“Speak of the devil,” I muttered to Wes as I climbed to the ground and slung my purse over my shoulder. “I’ve got a message from Cassie now.”
“Oh Jesus. What’s it say? Please tell me there’s nothing mentioned about dicks or pussies or pocket misters or fucking box fans.”
“I’m guessing I don’t want to know what pocket misters or box fans means, do I?”
“Nope,” Wes answered without hesitation. “You definitely do not.”
I grinned and looked down at the screen of my phone.
Cassie: That’s it! My tits are tapped. No more fucking heat. I can’t fucking take it anymore!
I laughed sardonically and read through the next messages.
Georgia: What happened to cleaning up your language? Ace is going to cuss like a freaking sailor soon!
Cassie: Don’t give me any of your shit, G. It’s been a long week, and my vageen smells like a native tribe in the Amazon, for Pete’s sake.
Georgia: Geez, Casshead, use a baby wipe or something!
Cassie: I HAVE, Wheorgie, thank you very much. You think I haven’t TRIED to clean this thing up? I’m not an animal. But by God, Ace messed up my flower something fierce. She doesn’t dry like she used to. I need an extra spin cycle or some shit, I don’t know.
Apparently, a glutton for punishment, I typed out a response.
Me: Your hormones are still out of whack from breastfeeding. Now that you’ve switched Ace to real milk, things should start to settle soon.
Cassie: Will my rage settle soon too? Because I really have an excess of that.
Georgia: That’s just your personality.
Cassie: HAHA. Did I not mention the RAGE, G? The RAGE is real. I wouldn’t test me right now if I were you.
Georgia: I’m not scared. You need me.
Cassie: Sometimes I hate how rational you can be. I swear it’s gotten worse since you married that big-dicked smarty-pants.
Georgia: You just need to relax. Calm down and take out some of your frustration on your husband.
Cassie: His access is restricted until he gets these fluffing drums out of my house. I hid them in the storage room, but until they leave the premises for good, I’m not celebrating.
Georgia: At least he’s invested in Ace’s future. Music is good for kids.
Cassie: Georgia, one more day of Ace banging on those things and I’d have been a headline in the paper. Trust me, music, in this case, is not good for my kid.
God, Cassie truly was one the most ridiculous, unexpected, crazy human beings I’d ever met. And the only one who rivaled her insanity was her own damn husband.
I shook my head on a laugh and added another message to the thread.
Me: You guys should get out of the city. Get some fresh air and a break. That’s what we’re doing.
Cassie: WHAT? You went away? Where are you?
Me: My uncle Brad and aunt Paula’s lake house. It’s just the kind of escape we all needed.
Just the kind of escape I needed, indeed. And it started with unplugging for real. I tucked my phone back into my purse and slung it back on my shoulder and headed for the house to see my family.
Wes and Lexi were laughing on the back deck when I got there, and the sound of the two of them together was a balm to my tattered soul.
“Everything okay?” Wes asked from the wooden bench built into the deck area as I approached. I plopped right down on his lap, and he wrapped both of his arms around my waist.
“Better than,” I answered honestly. “Now that I’m here, I feel like nothing can bother me.”
Not power issues, not life’s normal stress, not even the disappointing test I left in the garbage of our second-story guest bathroom in the city.