Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Thea stood up and took a step toward me, lowering her voice. “Then why are you acting so weird? I just asked who he was.”
I had to go. There was still a little while before I expected Camden back at the creek, but sitting there alone had to have been better than this.
My stomach rolled again, and I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. “He’s nobody.”
She planted her hands on her hips and arched an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
I had no idea what deep, dark drawer in my head the words came from, but they flew from my mouth faster than if they’d been fired from a gun. “It doesn’t matter who he is because he lives in Alberton, and he’s never coming back!”
And there it was, the constant knot in my stomach, the heavy weight in my chest, the sleeplessness, the inability to breathe—all of it verbalized for the universe to hear.
I’d known since the day I’d met him that the clock on our time together was ticking.
Camden leaving was going to suck no matter which way you cut it.
But the most excruciating part was: What if he didn’t come back?
What if this was it?
What if this was all I got?
One freaking summer to be happy, and now he was leaving? And I had to stay in that stupid town with my stupid father and a brother who was being forced to take care of me because our stupid mother had taken off and didn’t even care enough to take her own children with her.
My throat closed and I stumbled forward, propping myself up on the tree. Why couldn’t I breathe? Where the hell was all the air?
Thea looked just as startled as I was, but her face got soft as she rested her hand on my back. “Jesus, Nora. What’s going on?”
“People don’t come back for me,” I croaked, my throat raw as though the confession had been made of razor blades.
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true and you know it.”
Hooking her arm around my shoulders, she bent over with me, careful to keep her voice low. “No, it’s not. Your mom was a selfish bitch who didn’t care about anyone but herself. That is her problem. Not yours.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. I was only seven when she’d left, and for the first few months, I’d spent hours every day staring out the front window, waiting for her to come back. I’d imagined over a dozen scenarios where she’d suddenly burst through the front door, her arms full of presents and boxes of candy. She’d drop them all on the floor and wrap us in a tight hug, repeating over and over again how much she’d missed us. Her stories would range from simple things like losing her cell phone to the farfetched in which she’d been away on a secret mission with the FBI.
But in those daydreams, she’d always promise to never leave again.
As the months turned into years, I’d struggled with the idea that maybe I’d done something wrong to make her leave. At night when I climbed into bed, I’d bargained with a God I wasn’t sure existed to bring her back. All I needed was one chance and I could make her love me again.
Ramsey told me repeatedly how she was never coming back, but at that age, I still viewed mothers as faultless superheroes. I hadn’t even known it was possible for a mom to leave her kids. Dads, sure. I knew at least three people on our street who didn’t have a dad.
But everyone had a mom.
Everyone but me.
“But it is my problem!” I yelled, years of pent-up emotions sliding down my cheeks. “She left me here. And I waited for her every day. And now Camden’s going to leave me here too. I can’t do this again. I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Stop,” she breathed, wiping my hair out of my face. “He’s not leaving you. He’s a kid. This isn’t his choice.”
“But it would be his choice if he didn’t come back. He has a whole life in Alberton. What if he wants that more than he wants me? He has a family and a mom. He probably even has a few friends. He won’t choose me, Thea. Nobody ever chooses me.”
I was going to lose him—my one and only escape from reality. It didn’t matter how bad things got at home, I’d always been one sunrise and two sandwiches away from Camden and forgetting it all.
And, now, he was leaving, going back to a life where I didn’t exist, and there was nothing I could do about it.
A tremble worked its way through my body like a shockwave, but Thea was right there, linking her arm through mine. “Okay. Okay. Let’s both take a deep breath. You’re wrong about this. Me and Ramsey would choose you every single time no matter what. But I get it. Boys are hard to read sometimes. Have you talked to him about this? Does he know about your mom?”