Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 132332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 529(@250wpm)___ 441(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 529(@250wpm)___ 441(@300wpm)
My throat’s so tight, I can barely speak. “First, do you need anything? Advil? Water? Food?”
“No, just you.”
I kiss the top of her head and run my hands over her back. “Like I said on the phone, I went to Niagara Falls.”
“Canadian side or American?”
“Canada.”
“Really? What made you cross the border?”
I hesitate, not sure if I can put it into words that’ll have any meaning. But that’s why Charlotte and I work so well—she always helps me make sense of the most absurd situations. “I couldn’t stop thinking about this trip I took with my parents…uh, my mother and her husband, when I was a kid. Before Heidi.”
“BH, huh?”
“Yeah.” I chuckle.
“I bet you were so cute when you were little… I was hoping… I wanted…” Her voice breaks.
“Shhh. It’s okay.” I lean closer and rub my forehead against hers. “I was a scrawny daredevil who scared the shit out of my parents because I kept asking about going over the falls in a barrel.”
The silly memory does the trick. A quick chuckle spills from Charlotte, her warm breath sliding over my neck. “Go on,” she encourages.
“We visited my mom’s cousin or aunt. I vaguely remember sitting in her kitchen drinking loganberry juice.”
“Ooo, I remember that stuff. It was so good. My dad used to bring us home loganberry syrup whenever he went up there on a run.”
“You’re in luck. I brought you home a bottle.”
She squeezes me again. “You’re the best fiancé.”
Pleasure that I did at least one thing right fills me for a second, then evaporates. “No, I’m not. I should’ve been here, Char—”
“Knock it off and finish your story.”
This woman. God damn, I love her.
“Everything’s changed so much, I barely recognized anything. Couldn’t find the house. Who knows if I was even looking in the right place?”
“What were you going to do if you found it?”
I huff out a quiet laugh. “I didn’t think that far ahead.”
“Marcel,” she whispers, running her fingers through my hair. Her touch soothes and reassures me, even though she’s the one who needs comforting.
“I spent some time staring at the falls and thinking over my life. Unfortunately, no good answers came to me.”
“It’s going to take a while to get comfortable. Your whole identity has been shaken.”
“I still love you no matter what,” I say. She needs to understand that nothing about this revelation changes how I feel about her or our future together.
“And I love you,” she repeats.
That’s what I needed to hear. “Will you love me more or less as a North?”
She pulls back and blinks at me. “Are you thinking of taking Rock’s last name?”
“Yeah,” I admit quietly, shifting my gaze to the nightstand. “I floated the idea when I saw him at Chaser’s place.”
“And?”
“He seemed receptive.”
“I’m sure he was. He cares about you a lot, Marcel. This is eating him up too.”
Something in her voice sets me on edge. “What makes you say that?”
“He…uh, came to talk to me at my office. He was worried about you.”
“He came to your office?” I repeat slowly, not liking the sound of that at all. Her experience growing up around an MC wasn’t always warm and fuzzy. Given the current situation, my MC prez showing up out of the blue probably scared the shit out of Charlotte. “What’d he do, waltz in your front door?”
“Yes. Scared the hell out of me at first,” she admits. “I wasn’t sure how he felt. If he wanted to keep it quiet or he was worried about the club finding out.”
“And?”
She pauses and seems to consider her words. “I think he feels…guilty.”
“Why? It’s not his fault.”
“I think he’s worried about…losing you.”
That’s new. Hell, my parents were all too eager to get rid of me. “No one’s ever been afraid of losing me before.”
“I worry about losing you.” She struggles to sit up.
“Easy.” I pull her into the safety of my arms again. “I’m sorry I took off.”
“I understand.” She blows out a long breath and traces her fingers over my chest. “It was hard to explain to Murphy though. Heidi’s been busy so she didn’t question your absence too much, but Murphy was out of his mind worried. Not to mention how pissed he was that Rock wouldn’t let him go on the run.”
Shit. “What am I going to say to Murphy? It might actually be harder to tell him than Heidi.” While we don’t spend lots of time getting deep in our feels, he’s always thought of Rock as a father figure. More than I even did. “At least I had a dad for a while. He didn’t. If anyone should’ve been Rock’s son, it should’ve been Murphy.”
She sighs. “To be honest, I considered that too. Neither of you are great at expressing emotions.” She slants a look at me. “Not only am I worried he’ll lose his shit if the news upsets Heidi, I’m worried that once it sinks in how the dynamics have changed, he’ll take it harder than she does.”