Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 68102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
She didn’t believe for a second that Colm would hurt her physically, but that didn’t mean she could control her instincts.
And not only that, but there was also the fact that she was currently naked. Although her legs were curled up to her chest, covering her.
This can’t be the first time that he sees me naked!
She also didn’t want him to see the bruises that Oleg had given her.
Yeah, she sort of had a towel around her, but it didn’t fully cover her.
“Why are you apologizing, lass?” he murmured. “Unless you’re apologizing for hiding things from me. But that’s gonna take more than an ‘I’m sorry’ for you to apologize.”
“What?”
She hadn’t understood anything of what he’d just said. He wanted an apology for hiding things? What things?
He didn’t even know about the bigger lies, so what was he talking about?
And how more could she apologize than by saying sorry?
Did he want a gift basket? Muffins?
Hmm. This conversation was weird, but at least it had distracted her and pushed away the lingering panic that had been on the edges of her mind.
“But that’s also a worry for another day. However, I will say this: you’re not to hide your pain from me. I know this will be difficult for you because I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen the way you close down. You don’t share anything deep with anyone. You keep things superficial. I don’t know if that’s just who you are or it’s what you’ve been taught to do. But, with me, you don’t do it. Understand me? If you’re in pain, I want to know it. If you’re lonely, scared, worried, hungry. I need to know.”
She couldn’t do that.
Did he understand what he was asking her to do?
“Okay, baby, I’m gonna need you to breathe. That’s the most important thing. I get it. This is scary, and perhaps you’re worried I won’t really take care of you. That I won’t keep you safe. So, just for tonight. For the next few hours . . . just let me get you through that. No big secrets. Nothing too deep. Just a man who wants to look after a woman because she needs him. Because she needs some care and attention and to not have to think or worry for a while. Can you do that?”
A few hours?
She wasn’t sure. But she guessed she could try, so she nodded. Besides, a part of her wanted to experience it and know what it felt like to be cared for this way and by Colm.
“Precious girl. You’re being so brave, so good.” He whispered words of praise to her that she was certain she didn’t deserve.
But she lapped them up like she’d been starved of them her entire life.
She’d been loved. She was loved.
However, the men in her life weren’t so open with their words of affection. And often, she’d worried their love was contingent on her behavior.
Plus, this was different.
Because her feelings toward Colm were vastly different.
“I was going to pick you up, but I’m worried about hurting your back more.”
“I think it will be all right,” she whispered.
He eyed her worriedly but nodded.
God, his care was everything her poor, overwhelmed senses needed.
“I’m naked, though.”
“Hmm. I hadn’t noticed.”
What? Seriously!
Then he winked at her. The rat!
But to her surprise, she found herself smiling in response.
“Was your back sore before you got in the shower?” he asked.
“Yes, but usually a shower helps. It seized up while I was sitting and I couldn’t get back up.”
His gaze narrowed, and she could sense he wasn’t happy with her. She started to hunch in on herself.
“Right. Next time your back is hurting you, tell me. What you will not do is go off by yourself and shower. What did you plan to do? Stay in the shower all night?”
“Crawl.”
He started muttering quietly. She didn’t try to figure out what he was saying. She figured it was probably wildly unflattering.
Very slowly and more gently than she’d thought would be possible from a man of his size, he lifted her out of the shower.
The towel slipped to the floor and she gasped.
Colm froze. “Sore, baby?”
“Naked,” she whispered.
“I told you not to worry about that. I don’t want you worrying about anything right now.”
“That seems impossible.” Everything started to crowd into her head, weighing her down like a dark cloud.
“Shh. It will be. Only if you can just trust me for a few hours.”
“I . . . I trust you not to harm me. Physically.”
He winced. “I’ll try not to harm you in any way if I can, Mo leannan.” He laid her carefully on the bed on her back. “This position all right for you?”
“Uh.”
The throbbing in her back was becoming more insistent. She covered her breasts with one arm and the bruise over her ribs and stomach with the other.