Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“They have a lot of medical stuff here,” I note.
“Aye,” he agrees. “As you can imagine, they need it from time to time.”
The door opens ahead of us and Alexei, Franco and the doctor filter out of the room. Rory looks at me and gestures for me to go inside.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” he says.
“Thank you.”
I move toward the door frame and hesitate. I’m afraid to look. Afraid of what I’ll see. I know they said he’s going to be okay, but I’m so anxious I can’t help it.
But when I see Ronan lying there in stable condition, my shoulders sag in relief. I walk over and sit beside him on the bed. He opens his eyes to meet mine, and then his hand finds mine beside him.
“Sasha.”
The way he says my name is full of reverence. My answer is a jerky nod with big fat tears falling down my face. He gestures for me to lay down beside him and I curl into his side, surrounding myself in his warmth.
“You scared me,” I tell him. “I don’t like this, Ronan.”
“I’m sorry,” he answers.
“We’re having a baby,” I say. “I can’t be going through this all the time. I need to know that you’re going to come home to me every night. This wondering if you’re going to live or die all the time, it’s too much.”
Ronan nuzzles against my cheek and then kisses my forehead. For someone who has never been shown affection in his life, he’s learning how to comfort me rather quickly.
“Sasha, I can’t leave the syndicate,” he replies. “But I will never leave you either. Ye’re everything to me.”
“I love you,” I tell him. “I love you so frigging much, Ronan. I just don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know if I can handle it.”
He holds me tighter and squeezes, his breath blowing across my face when he whispers his only assurance.
“I’ll always come back to ye. Nothing could keep me away.”
Then his hand moves over my stomach, and something changes in his features. Where before he was terrified, there’s now a flash of pride there.
“And our child too.”
I lean in and graze his lips with mine, and his hand tangles in my hair, deepening the kiss. This kiss conveys all the words he can’t say aloud. Like how scared he was to lose me too. And how without a shadow of a doubt I am his now. When he breaks away, his eyes are soft and open.
“I haven’t any bloody idea how to be a father,” he admits. “I’m afraid I’ll botch the job beyond repair.”
“You won’t,” I tell him. “I know you won’t, Ronan. We’ll learn together.”
“I don’t do well with loud noises,” he says quietly. “I worry that when the baby cries…”
His words drift off and his expression takes on a distant look.
“You will adjust,” I assure him. “It will be different when it’s your own child, Ronan. And we’ll figure it out, okay? We’ll do whatever we have to.”
He nods, but I can tell he’s still worried about it. There are admittedly a million things left to figure out. A huge clusterfuck still waiting for us back in Boston with the feds and Slainte and Lachlan’s arrest. The informant, the baby, the future. Everything is hanging in the balance right now. And I shouldn’t feel calm.
But when I’m here in his arms, and he’s alive, and looking at me the way he is right now, all is right with the world.
Chapter Forty-One
Ronan
For the next three days, we remain holed up at Alexei’s house. The lad isn’t very fond of me after the stunt I pulled before with Mack and the small matter of shooting at his car. But he helped me when I needed it, regardless. I don’t have a clue if it’s because of the alliance or because of Sasha.
I’ve noticed he has eyes on us often. Like he’s trying to pick us apart, work out what’s going on between us. I haven’t a clue why. Crow always said this one was funny when it came to women. That he had a soft spot for them. And I’ve seen him enough times to know it’s true. I don’t think he’s got eyes for Sasha, but I still don’t like him looking at her the way he does. I don’t like anyone looking at her.
Because she’s mine.
I glance at her sleeping form beside mine and wonder how the bleeding hell I ever had the good fortune to cross paths with her. For her to see past my issues and care for me anyway. I haven’t worked it all out yet, but the one thing I do know is Sasha is kind and has a good heart. For some reason, she believes there’s something in me worth keeping.
I don’t take that lightly. Only, I worry I’m going to jack this whole situation arseways if I don’t tread carefully. There’s still a bit of dread inside of me when I think about having a baby. I’ve no fecking clue how to care for a baby. But when I look at Sasha and it really settles over me that she’s carrying my child, I get a big head over the notion. I fancy the idea that I’ve claimed her in such a way. That she will never have another but me, and that we might make a family together. The way that Crow said, with that picture he had in his head. I want that with Sasha. Only, I need to sort out all of this other bollocks first.