Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 104329 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 522(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104329 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 522(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
Raven had stopped going to the bakery. When Ava was with Abriana, Raven steered clear and allowed them to be at peace. She never attempted to befriend Harlow, the girl working for Ava. And when Ava was at the club, like tonight, she kept herself locked in her room, waiting until late so she could come down for something to eat.
This wasn’t a pity party. This was Raven dealing with the consequences of her own actions. No one forced her to do this.
Entering the kitchen, she came to an immediate stop when she caught sight of Smokey sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a drink.
At first, she wanted to turn on her heel and pretend she didn’t have a clue why she was in the kitchen. Perhaps even making the excuse that she was sleepwalking.
Sleep wasn’t something she ever did well.
None of the brothers knew how she spent long nights, lying in bed, awake, staring up at the ceiling. If she did fall asleep, it was only for a couple of hours at a time.
Smokey looked up. There was a frown across his brow.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He nodded.
This was awkward.
Smokey was the only one she had ever been close to, but not romantically. She never had a crush on him or wanted him sexually. He was her … friend. The only true friend she had. Again, that was something she had lost as well.
“Ava’s … she had a nightmare.”
“Oh,” Raven said.
Ava’s nightmares were well-known within the club. One of the nights she’d stayed in her room, Ava had woken the baby with her screams.
“I, er, I’ll go.”
“Eat,” Smokey said.
Raven tensed up. “I’m fine. I don’t need food.”
“Raven, you haven’t eaten since this morning. You think I don’t know that you’re starving and whenever Ava’s with me, you stay hidden?”
Well, she thought she hid it a little better than that.
At the fridge, she pulled open the door and perused what was available. Not a whole lot. Some cheese. She liked cheese. Grabbing the small packet, she rushed to the counter and found some leftover stale pieces of bread. The guys were such big babies when it came to bread.
She took two crusts, spread them with butter, and then sliced the cheese finely to place on the sandwich. She loved pickles and checked the cupboards to see there was a small jar of them left.
Feeling a little euphoric, she grabbed her plate and the jar of pickles, along with a fork, and approached the table.
She didn’t sit close to Smokey anymore.
They were no longer … close.
After taking a bite of her sandwich, she chewed the stale bread and cheese as she opened the top of the jar, and the scent of vinegar erupted in the air. She stabbed her fork into a pickle and pulled it out, taking a bite so that it mixed with her sandwich.
“Was the nightmare about…” Raven couldn’t even bring herself to finish.
“Yes.”
She nodded.
“She has forgiven me, but I can’t do anything to wipe the memories from her mind.” He rubbed at his eyes, and as Raven looked at him, really looked at him, she saw that he seemed older than normal.
Smokey was an older guy, but this was different. The pain of what he’d caused had aged him.
“She loves you and she has forgiven you. In time, the nightmares will stop.” She knew all about them, not in Ava’s case, but in her own.
“They’ll just magically stop?”
Raven shook her head. “No, you’ll create new memories. You’re already different around her. Making changes so that her life is better.” She tried to reason with him.
“I don’t deserve it.”
Smokey had no choice but to work his ass off to win Ava back. If it hadn’t been for Ava being pregnant after what happened, even Raven doubted if he had a chance.
“You’re a good guy and she knows it.”
“But I didn’t … fuck, do you know how often I think of that moment? When I saw that picture?”
“You’ve been hurt many times before,” Raven said. “It’s only expected for you to be … cautious.”
“But I knew Ava. She is amazing. Nothing like any other woman, and I fucking blew it.”
“Smokey, she’s with you.”
“I fucked everything up.”
Raven shook her head. Any appetite she had was long gone. There was no way she’d be able to finish this sandwich now.
“Smokey, you gave the order for us to deal with her,” Raven said. “You didn’t say how we were supposed to do that.”
“I’m the fucking Prez. You knew what I wanted, and you were following my orders!”
This was useless. They could argue all day long as to who was right and wrong. They were both wrong. Smokey was her Prez, and she had followed his orders, but he hadn’t given her specifics. Ava had been identified as a rat, working with their enemy, so Raven dealt with it, as she had before.