Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 97882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 489(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 326(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 489(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 326(@300wpm)
I was a recluse the Sunday after the game, hiding in my bedroom with the door locked. Leo tried to get me to go out. Kyle tried to get me to play video games. Clay and Zeke both tried to get me to fifth wheel with them, Giana, and Riley to the Topsfield Fair. And my uncles tried to get me to join them for dinner, to help choose my baby cousin’s first Halloween outfit.
I ignored them all.
The truth was I was almost embarrassed by the petulant frustration that rolled off me like steam, and I knew if I let even one member of the team get a whiff of it, it could start problems. I didn’t want any rumors going around that I wasn’t supportive of Blake, of the team as a whole, that I was a sore loser — or in this case, a sore, injured winner.
I took the day to rest, to read and listen to music and try to recenter myself.
I was still the captain, and I needed to remind myself of that.
Just like I needed to remind myself to stop getting so caught up with Julep.
She’d been a distraction for me during the game. I couldn’t stop thinking about the yard sale, about what she’d revealed to me. To know she’d suffered the same loss as I had, that she understood not just grief but that particular brand of it…
It shifted something inside me, something I knew would never move back.
It was nearly impossible not to reach for her on that chilly morning, to not hold her and tell her I got it. It was like a lightbulb going off, an aha! moment.
That ghost I’d seen in her eyes since the first time I met her, I knew what it was now.
It was the same as mine.
As if wanting her physically hadn’t driven me mad enough, as if pushing her buttons didn’t rev me up, as if that bickering with her and making her roll her eyes didn’t light some dead part of me back to life — now, I felt a connection to her I’d never felt to anyone in my entire life.
And I had to cut it out of me like a bullet.
Coach saw what I thought I hid so well. He didn’t have to say it for me to know, especially with how he watched me the entire game, how he ensured I didn’t get too close to Julep.
Which was why, on Monday morning when I showed up for PT, I wasn’t the least bit surprised to find JB waiting for me instead of her.
“I hear we’re making good progress,” he said, patting the table for me to hop up. I did, trying not to be as grumpy as I had been all weekend, while he stretched my shoulder. “Julep seems to think you could start practicing this week.”
I couldn’t even find a glimmer of hope inside me.
“The shot help?”
I nodded.
“Any pain while you’re sleeping, or showering, any regular activity setting it off?”
I shook my head.
JB grew quiet, watching me as he maneuvered my arm this way and that, assessing. “We’re moving you forward in the recovery process, that’s why I’ll be taking over.”
The corner of my mouth lifted, and I gave him a look.
The one he offered in return told me he knew that was bullshit just as much as I did.
After physical therapy, I sat out for another practice. JB wanted to look over my chart before he made any other decisions. The team was on a high from the win, everyone smiling and laughing and joking around.
“You good, Cap?” Leo asked me on a water break.
I nodded from where I was studying the playbook. “Never been better.”
He frowned, opening his mouth to say something, but before he got the chance, Coach Lee came up behind him and clapped him on the back, signaling it was time for him to get back to work.
When Leo was gone, Coach stood next to where I was on the bench, his arms crossed and eyes on the field where offense was running drills.
“I spoke with JB,” he said. “He’s cleared you to come back to practice tomorrow.”
My chest sparked with the first sign of life since the game Saturday.
“Thank you, sir,” I said.
“It’s just practice,” he clarified. “No promise on the game this weekend.”
“I understand, sir.”
He turned then. “I hope you do, Moore. I hope you understand very clearly what your role is on this team, both as quarterback and as captain.”
I tried to hide the bob of my throat as I lifted my gaze from the playbook to meet his.
“You’re a leader,” he reminded me. “Everyone on this team looks to you as their first point of direction for how to behave.”
My mouth was dry as I nodded in understanding.
Coach Lee bent then, his face right in front of mine as he said, “Julep is a good girl. She’s worked her ass off to climb out of the pits of hell.” He shoved his finger so hard into my chest I knew it’d bruise. “Keep your head in the game, and your hands off my daughter.”