Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
“What am I supposed to think? You spend half the night in your studio and—”
“That’s who I am. That’s always been who I am. When my muse strikes, I paint. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be around you.”
He ignored that. “You don’t really initiate sex anymore. You’re surrounded by beautiful people, men and women who fawn over you all the time. It’s not just men I have to compete with for your attention.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not me they care about. It’s my art. They respect my work. Not everyone is trying to get in my pants. And you don’t have to compete. You’re the one who’s decided that. Just because I’m pan doesn’t mean you have more competition. Are you saying because I’m attracted to more than just men, you don’t think I can commit?” Anger burned its way through my insides. He was angry with me because I painted and because I was in some weird sort of funk? I didn’t get angry when he went out, when he went to bars and drank or stayed out most of the night. I trusted him. Why couldn’t he do the same with me?
For the second time, Jayden chose to ignore what I said. “You won’t introduce me to your family. We’ve been dating for almost two years, yet you never take me home with you. They don’t even know you’re queer when you have a gay brother, so it’s not like they would care.”
Guilt dropped an anchor in my gut. He had me there. I had no excuse for why I hadn’t told my family…why I hadn’t told Isaac. I didn’t understand it myself. Especially when it came to my brother.
With a sigh, Jayden shoved out of bed. “I think I’m gonna go home.” He turned on the bedside lamp and went for his clothes.
“What if we went away for a while,” tumbled out of my mouth without much thought. Jesus Christ, what was I thinking? But he was right. I’d never brought a girlfriend, or obviously a boyfriend, home before. Mom asked about people I was dating all the time, and I’d given them female names, but never male.
Jayden stopped, turned, and looked at me. “To meet your family?” One of his brows rose, as if he was testing me, expecting me to say no, and maybe I should have, maybe this wouldn’t have been my first choice, but the truth was, I missed them. I’d been missing them more lately, which likely explained my mood and restlessness. I adored my family, always had. I missed painting in the attic Dad and Isaac had remodeled with me. I missed the simplicity of being able to create art just because I loved it and not for money or show. I was tired of the constant speed of my life in the city.
“That’s what I thought,” Jayden snapped, stepping into his pants.
“Yes,” I replied. Because maybe it was time, maybe I just needed to go home and that would help the unease that had taken up residence beneath my skin.
Isaac would… Christ, Isaac would be hurt I hadn’t told him. I was the first person he’d said those words to at sixteen, but our relationship was different now. We were brothers, family, and we loved each other, but we didn’t talk the way we used to. We weren’t close anymore, though I didn’t understand why.
“Can you get away from work?” I asked Jayden, since he kept busy too. His dream was to have his own gallery one day.
A grin stretched across his face, and I knew I was forgiven, though I still didn’t know what I’d done wrong. “I can get away.” He slid beneath the blankets again. “I want this to work out. I want to get past the mistakes and move forward with you, take that next step with you…”
I was again lost at the mistakes I’d apparently made, and then my brain began spinning too fast as I tried to nail down what he meant by moving forward. Moving in together? Getting more serious? But then he kissed me before I could focus on it too much. This time, I went down on him. Jayden came in my mouth, then fell asleep, while I lie there, fingers itching to paint, wondering what Isaac would say when I got home.
CHAPTER TWO
Isaac
I had a naked man on each side of me.
Last night had been a big night. I’d landed a huge account at the financial firm I worked at, and we’d all gone out to one of the bars Walter Financial Enterprises frequented. I’d stayed sober, knowing I would want my own celebration afterward. I’d called Greg, one of my regular hookups, who was almost always down for a good time. He’d already had another man over, but when they said they were down for a third, well, I hadn’t been willing to pass up that offer.