Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
“We were sleeping together for three months, Alex—”
“And I fell harder for you than I did any girl I was officially dating or in a relationship with.”
“Because the sex is good. Obviously. Here we are.”
She gestures her hand between our naked bodies, and I grin. “It is. I love burying myself in you, but it’s good because it’s you. Elliot, you are incredible.”
She swallows, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “You don’t know the broken pieces of me.”
“No matter how broken, I’ll love those pieces too.”
“And what if you can’t? What if you’re disgusted by me?”
I cup her jaw. “I think you’ve built this idea in your head that I will, and you won’t come off that idea. So I’ll just show you how the last thing I’ll ever be is disgusted by you.”
Her tears fall as she looks down at my chest, running her fingers along my tattoo. I watch her small fingertips as she traces the letters of the quote on my chest.
Die with memories, not dreams.
My mom used to say it all the time when we were growing up, and when I got it inked on me, she beat my ass for getting a tattoo but then told me she secretly loved it. As Elliot’s eyes move along the script, her breathing is labored, but she says nothing. I’d give my left nut to know what she is thinking, and I hate the silence. Breathing in through my nose, I say, “Give me this, mi sol. Let me prove to you what I already know.”
Her eyes cut to mine. “No one can get hurt if we just accept being the baby’s parents and that’s it.”
“I won’t accept that. It’s defeatist, the last way I want to live my life. I want to be yours, Elliot.”
She inhales deeply and then lets it out in a long breath, her eyes searching mine. “I’m gonna end up shattered.”
I cuddle her to me, her stomach and chest pressing into mine as I capture her by the nape of the neck. “No, mi sol. I’m going to love you whole.”
And that’s a goal I know I can score from inside the net myself.
CHAPTER 17
Elliot
“Jesus…swoon,” Austen says in a dreamy little voice. “Like, I’m pretty sure that could be said by a book boyfriend. Particularly, a thousand-year-old vampire with a primal kink.”
Clara and I both eye our older sister before Louisa says, “Um, excuse you. I’m the kink lover of the group.”
Austen snorts. “Um, you wouldn’t know what kink was without me.”
They glare at each other as Eliza says, “We all love kinks in this group. The only one who really acts on them is Clara.”
Clara beams. “Yup. Haven’t tried primal, though. Kind of scary.”
Louisa and Austen just grin. “Try it. It’s hot,” Austen says. “Especially if he wears a mask.”
Louisa smiles smugly. “And Ciaran is really good at it. Fast.”
I give her a dry look. “You’ve got a busted ankle! Of course he’s fast, ’cause you’re slow! Easy prey.”
At that, my sisters all explode in laughter as Louisa’s face fills with a flush, but she laughs just as hard. “Shut up!”
Clara giggles beside me. “Enough.” She turns her gaze on me. “I want to know what you said! Are you going to do it?”
Clara is giving me that wistful look that I usually find adorable, but today, it’s annoying. Mainly because I didn’t want to go shopping or even get together with my sisters. They guilted me. Honestly. They said I had to go shopping with them because they hadn’t been able to buy anything for the baby because they weren’t supposed to know about it.
Assholes.
I’d demanded lunch before we went, and of course, they obliged. As I dunk a chip into some spinach dip, I admit, “I didn’t agree or disagree. We started making out.”
Then had mind-blowing sex.
Followed by some food.
Then more sex before we both passed out.
He left for morning skate and promised to be back this afternoon so we can work out the details. Just thinking of him coming back has butterflies going nuts in my belly. While I am excited to see him, and to see how he intends to make this plan work, I am scared that I’ll be gung ho for this but just end up broken like I knew I would be nine months ago. I knew that Alex Cruz had the potential to break me in two if I ever gave myself to him, but I didn’t expect a child to be involved.
Makes things a whole lot more complicated.
One thing is for sure, I slept like the dead, and I woke up feeling more relaxed than I have in months. I know it’s from all our extra activities, and I’m disgusted with myself for wanting more. I need to keep my libido in check until I know what is going on. Do I want to allow myself to fall for him? Because I know I will. No doubt about it. Or do I want to do this to make him happy and keep my heart locked away and make sure we can raise our child together?