Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
“But you’ll say yes.” I squeeze her hand, and she holds my gaze.
I flash her a toothy grin, and she shakes her head. Even with her trying to hide it, I can see the little grin that pulls at her lips. She tries so hard to throw a wall up between us, but I have no problem knocking it down.
Elliot lets out a long sigh before saying, “Yes. But we’re just talking. I’m not sleeping with you.”
My grin widens. “Mmm, mami. Come on, I know your weakness is food.”
“And? Doesn’t mean I’ll sleep with you.” She scoffs, but I see the desire in her eyes. It’s always been like that. She doesn’t want to want me, but she does. Just as desperately as I want her. “I won’t.”
“Sure.”
“Seriously.”
“Sure.”
She lets out a frustrated noise before turning on her heel and heading down the hall. As I take in her ass, I notice it’s a bit wider, but that could be the shirt she’s wearing. Not that I don’t adore the fullness and want to squeeze those globes with my hands.
I’ll find out after dinner.
As she walks away, I swear I hear her mutter, “You’ll more than likely not want to sleep with me anyway.”
But surely that’s not the case, because nothing, and I mean nothing, in this world could make me not want her.
CHAPTER 9
Elliot
Me: I can drive.
Alex: Just tell me where you’re living. Are you out at Davenport’s place?
Me: No. I’ll meet you there.
Alex: It’s a date. I’m supposed to pick you up.
Me: While I appreciate your gallant effort, I just moved and I’m not settled in my new place. I’ll meet you there.
Alex: Tell me where you are. I want to pick you up.
Me: No, because you’ll want to “walk me to my door,” and then you’ll charm your way into my pants.
Alex: Wait, you’re wearing pants tonight? You know I’m a heathen when you wear a skirt. Easy access.
Me: Which is why I am not wearing a skirt, you heathen.
Alex: Fine, wear pants, and I’ll charm my way into them by your car outside the restaurant, and we’ll have round two in the back seat.
Me: I told you, I’m not hooking up with you. This is about clearing the air.
Alex: Sure, there will be talking, but things are clear, Elliot. I want you and miss you. Pretty clear to me.
Me: Nothing has changed. I don’t want a relationship.
Alex: I think if you gave me a chance, you’d change your mind. Now, stop throwing up your walls. I’ll see you there.
I have no clue what the hell I am doing.
I’m going through every emotion known to humankind, and I’m unsure what is wrong and what is right. One second, I’m excited to spend time with him. I have missed him. He’s such a charming bastard, it’s hard not to. I enjoy laughing with him, and when his arms capture me, I’m done for. But then, he’s going to be pissed that I’m pregnant. That I hid it. That I’m ruining his life. Even if he did want to be in our child’s life, I know I can’t give him what he wants. I can’t let the fact that he’s knocked me up cloud the truth—once he knows my past, he won’t want me. Who would?
I press my hand to my stomach.
My baby will.
Tears blur my vision at how fully I believe that. I didn’t have a good relationship with my mom or even my dad, but my sisters… I would die for them. That’s how I feel about this child growing inside me. Do I have any clue what I am doing? Not even one. But I will love the shit out of them. I will give them everything my parents didn’t and everything my sisters did. Add in that my sisters will spoil this baby rotten, and I know my child will be happy.
Not knowing how Alex will play into that has scared me for long enough. I have to be honest.
Jesus, I still can’t believe that Alex touched his child but had no clue they were there. I want to say that is the reason I agreed to dinner, to come clean. But the truth is, I have missed him. I love his naughty words and his quick grins. I love how he feels against me and how, when he looks at me, it’s as if I’m the only one in the room.
When I tell him, though, I’m sure all that will change.
I won’t even have to tell him my past. I’ve fully deceived him and kept something huge from him.
I am the lowest of the low kind of cunt.
A tear falls, but I quickly brush it away when the bathroom door opens and Clara comes out. “I love that bathroom. Coleson has some good taste.”
I nod in agreement as she heads back to the closet to start hanging my clothes. I tug at my shirt, turning to the bags on the counter to fill my fridge. I hadn’t expected Clara to come over, but she was already unpacking my things when I entered my new place. Like the great sister she is.