Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Alex’s thumb pauses as his eyes burn into mine. “I knew I loved your sisters.”
I surprise myself when I smile. I lick my lips and nod. “Austen was the first to leave, then Eliza, because they couldn’t do it any longer. They were being forced into marriages—which wasn’t a marriage, but really a guy owning you.”
His eyes darken. “The fuck?”
“We weren’t people. We were things to be owned.”
Something flashes in his eyes, and then he leans in toward me. “You know when I said I owned you, I didn’t mean it like that, right? You are your own person, but you’re—”
“Alex, I know,” I say, reaching for his hands and rubbing his knuckles. “You’re nothing like them.”
“Still, why didn’t you tell me or correct me?”
I shrug. “I kinda did, but I was too scared to tell you about this part of me.”
“Don’t be,” he urges. “You’re not your past.”
I search his eyes for the lie, but it’s not there.
“Thank you,” I say softly, and his fingers thread with mine. “So, as I said, Austen was the first to get out. She wanted us all to come with her, and Eliza agreed right away. But Clara wasn’t eighteen yet. Louisa agreed to stay behind to protect us as long as she could, even while the guy who owned her tried to kill her. Clara and I guaranteed Austen we’d be okay, that we knew how to protect ourselves. And we did, until we couldn’t.” My eyes drift shut as my past hits me full force. “There was this thing called the Halo, where we’d stand as the men would circle us and look us over to decide whether they wanted us. I was known for swinging first and not asking for forgiveness, so no one really wanted me, but Clara was so sweet and innocent.” I open my eyes to meet his angry ones. He looks pained, and that has me struggling for my next breath. “I realized quickly that they knew they couldn’t get me, that they were going to ignore me and go after her, try to manipulate her into possibly giving over her body and becoming theirs. I wasn’t having it. I refused to let anyone taint my baby sister. I had to protect her like I had been protected.”
His fingers squeeze mine. “Clara is lucky to have you, Elliot.”
My name on his lips has the tears falling quickly down my cheeks. “Don’t say that. You don’t know how I protected her. Nobody knows.”
“It doesn’t matter. You did what you had to, and I applaud that.”
“Alex,” I say softly as my heart slams into my ribs. “I gave them my body. I let multiple men touch me, fuck me, and use me to keep Clara safe. I hid her and fucked any guy who looked for her. I whored myself out to protect my sister, and I know how disgusting that is—” My words are cut off when he reaches for me, pulling me to him in a firm embrace. His mouth captures mine, the kiss hard, brutal, and almost as if he is trying to make the words I just spoke disappear. He sucks my tongue, running his tongue along all the corners of my mouth before he pulls back, both of us gasping. He cups my face with his hand, his eyes burning into mine as he gazes down at me. He kisses me softly then drops a kiss to the side of my mouth before returning to gaze into my eyes. The air around us is suffocating, and I’m waiting for him to be disgusted. I’m waiting for his eyes to turn hard, to reflect revulsion, but it doesn’t happen.
He lifts my hand with his ring on it, and before my next breath, he’s sliding it off my finger. My heart shatters in my chest as my tears fall quicker down my cheeks. I’m speechless when he lifts me, placing me on the chair before him as he steps back. His eyes never leave mine as he looks down at me. I knew this was going to happen. I knew he was going to be revolted by me. How could he want a whore? And a lying whore at that.
But then he falls to one knee.
He reaches for my hand, and still, his gaze doesn’t leave mine.
I’m downright confused as he rubs my ring finger, his throat working as I try to figure out what the hell is happening.
He clears his throat, yet his voice is so rough as tears gather in his eyes. “I need a redo.”
“What?” My voice cracks.
“A redo,” he says, his voice breaking. “I didn’t do it right before.”
“What?” I ask, so fucking confused. “What do you mean?”
A tear slides down his cheek, and it breaks me. There is something about a big, strong man who is confident enough in himself to allow his emotions to flow freely, but it’s hard to swoon over him when I’m utterly baffled. Shouldn’t he be calling me disgusting? Shouldn’t he want to take his ring and run? What the hell is happening?