Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Her eyes snap up to mine. “Huh?”
“I wasn’t honest,” I admit. “I lied through my teeth. Not only to you, but to myself.”
She blinks, confusion swirling deep in her eyes. “Why?”
“Because I’m scared,” I admit, chancing a step toward her. She doesn’t recoil or stop me. Her gaze stays locked with mine as she takes in deep breaths, letting them out through her nose. I should be pleased, but I’m worried I’ve ruined this already. That I rushed myself into what I thought was right.
“You think I’m not scared?” she asks, her eyes staring into mine. “I was minding my own business, hating men and every day falling in love with a new fictional man, but then you came in here, and all I want is you. I have never blindly hooked up with someone quite like we did yesterday.” She shakes her head, looking away, heat creeping up her neck. “I felt this pull inside me for you. I have never wanted anyone the way I wanted you.”
My chest seizes at the past tense of the word. There is so much more I can say, yet I ask, “Wanted?”
She looks up at me and scoffs. “You’re an idiot if you think I’m gonna be vulnerable again.”
I take another step toward her, and I watch as she grips the ladder, her knuckles white. “I’ve blindly hooked up with girls, but I’ve never stayed the way I did yesterday. I feel the pull, Lou. I feel it deeply inside me, and each time I look in your eyes, I want to close the distance between us. To satisfy my pure, raw need for you.”
She swallows, her breath coming out in spurts. “Then why did you say it was a one-time thing?”
“Because that’s all I know. You talk about being vulnerable with someone. I shared things about my family with you, and I don’t do that.”
“Why?”
“I never cared to,” I tell her. “Until you.” Her lips part as I take another step toward her. I need so badly to touch her, to comfort her. “I’m sorry, Lou,” I plead, my fists clenching to keep from gathering her in my arms. She looks like a dream, leaning on the ladder for the taking. I could slide those leggings down her incredibly shapely legs and devour her pussy with my mouth. “Can I touch you?” I ask once more, needing her consent.
Fuck, I need her to want me again.
Her lip trembles, and she shakes her head. “Why?”
“I need to.”
“No,” she corrects, her eyes searching mine as her chest rises and falls with each breath she takes. “Why did you say what you did on the phone?”
My heart stops dead in my chest. Can I truly admit everything about Mikayla? I don’t want to talk about her here; I don’t even want to give her name power in this situation. But I owe it to Lou. I know she deserves an explanation. I lick my lips, exhaling hard. “Can I take you out?”
“What?” she asks incredulously, obviously over my shit. I don’t blame her.
“I know I don’t deserve your time, but can I take you out?” Her eyes narrow, and I know she’s about to say no. Quickly, I add, “It’s hard for me to concentrate here when all I want to do is pull your pants down and suck your clit between my lips until I’m drowning in your release. Until my name is the only word you can remember. Fuck, I want you so badly, Lou, but I owe you more than endless orgasms.”
She only blinks, her breath shaky as she holds my gaze. Desire swirls in her eyes, and I want to holler out in triumph. She still wants me! But wanting to fuck me and wanting me for me are two different things. I want the latter. I know this now.
“I don’t know, Ciaran,” she says slowly, and when a tear rolls down her cheek, I have to fight the urge to wipe it away. As I watch it roll, I can’t resist. I reach out, and she watches me attentively as I swipe the tear away, my thumb lingering for a moment. Her skin is warm, soft, and my need for her only grows.
“Please,” I beg, and I’m not ashamed. I step closer, and her breath hitches as heat radiates from her. She’s so close to me. All I have to do is arch my hips, and I would be touching her. Her breasts almost graze my chest, and her lips taunt me. All plump and parted just for me.
Her eyes trail along my face, from my cheeks to my jaw to my lips before meeting my gaze again. “I feel like there is an ocean between us now,” she says sadly. “I need to know why you said what you did. Saying you’re scared isn’t enough.”