Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 105679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
This suits my mood for Kana’s game night. When Ivy asked me to go I told her I had dinner with a sponsor. That was a lie. I made up an excuse to evade the invite.
I wish we had hockey today. Something to keep me busy tonight. Somewhere to go. Ivy and I walked her dog together this morning, then grabbed smoothies, but that wasn’t enough to satiate me. I need to make plans with someone for tonight when the two of them are out. As I weave through the park, aimless again, I take more photos, snapping shots of the tree branches, the tennis courts, the empty playground, hoping that fills the void inside me that’s come out of nowhere.
But it doesn’t.
And I can’t stand being this up in my head, this twisted in dark thoughts about tonight when they go.
I head to my home, avoiding the bedroom as best I can. Yesterday with Ivy already lives rent-free in my head. Don’t need it in my face.
I strip out of my wet clothes, dry off, and head to the gym.
I could work out at home. I have equipment there. But I need noise, people, voices. I find it on Fillmore Street at the gym where many of my teammates and other professional athletes from around the city work out. Once inside, I nod a hello to Carter Hendrix, the wide receiver for the Renegades who’s curling barbells. I don’t usually see him here on Sundays, but I bet he has a Monday night game.
“How’s it going?” I ask.
“I can’t complain,” says the amiable guy. Of course he can’t. He’s locked up his woman.
Nope.
Not going to indulge in petty jealousies over men who are settled happily in their romances.
I grab some weights, park my ass on a bench, and work on preacher curls. I’ve done a half-dozen reps when Ledger swings by.
“Aww. Bet you missed me,” he remarks as he grabs some free weights too. It’s triceps time for the Sea Dog.
“Yes, I came here for you,” I say dryly, but then a wave of self-loathing coils in me.
I did come here for company. I did come here to talk. I did come here to find someone to hang with tonight while Ivy and Hayes go to the game night.
Without me.
It’s so stupid that I feel this way. I’ll just keep playing it cool. Wait for the opportunity to talk about this situation with Hayes and Ivy. Be the patient man I am.
Today’s not the right moment. Hayes and Ivy are busy, and I’m…not.
I meet Ledger’s dark eyes. “McBride, let’s grab a bite tonight. You free?”
He sets down his weights, brings a hand to his chest. “Are you asking me out, Viking? I’m so touched.”
I roll my eyes.
“Seriously. And I thought you hated me after the way you ditched me the other week. Now, I’m just a lucky guy,” he says, fastening on an over-the-top smile.
“I want in,” Carter says from his spot nearby. “I know a great new ramen place. Let’s do it, men.”
I make plans with the two of them, and that’ll keep my mind off my heart, which is too many steps ahead of everything else.
And everyone else.
I shoot the shit with them as I work out for an hour, feeling less like a lion when I leave. But on the way out, an email notification blinks up at me.
From Xander.
Before I even open it, dread whooshes through my veins. The subject line is: Thought you might want to see this.
44
IMPROVISATION
Ivy
My outfit looks good, but I’m still not feeling it. I study myself in the mirror, trying to get dressed for game night. It’s not the jeans or the floral top. They match. Maybe I need an extra necklace?
I open the jewelry box on my bureau and take out a chain with a moon pendant, adding it to the star necklace I’m already wearing.
As I clasp it on, Jackson pops into my room, whistling his outfit approval. “Don’t you look gorgeous, girlie? Where are you going, and why are you never available for me anymore?”
I check him out. He’s dressed up and looking fine. “You’re busy all the time, too, with the new man in your life.”
“And you with your men.”
I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.
Jackson knows what’s going on behind the scenes. He has ever since my Vegas wedding. He’s my roommate, and I wouldn’t keep that from him as my friend, anyway. But it doesn’t feel right to put on my best jeans, some cute shoes, these twin necklaces, and then to head out with Hayes to see the other wives and girlfriends, husbands and boyfriends. Just like it felt wrong yesterday to show up at the golf event as Mrs. Armstrong when I’m not that person.
“I’m going to a game night with Hayes,” I answer at last. Yep. Sounds as wrong as it feels.