Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“Oh, my God!” Mom gasped, her hand covering her mouth.
“What’s wrong?”
“Jake Milligan just came out.”
The words didn’t compute. My brain got stuck on his name before the rest of the sentence registered. He…came out?
“What?”
“He’s bisexual. It’s the headline on my newsfeed. ‘NHL star comes out as bi.’ It says he’s known for a while, but it’s something he feels ready to share.” My mom blinked in dismay. “Did you know?”
“I…uh. Huh. Um…I didn’t know he was coming out.” I licked my lips and added, “Now.”
“I just think it’s amazing. He’s so brave.”
“Yeah. That’s cool.” Okay, what the actual fuck? That little shit. I mean…sure, he’d mentioned coming out…eventually. I didn’t think he’d intended to do it so soon.
“Did you know he was bi?” she prodded.
“Uh…” I was reeling here.
I fixed my gaze on the sunset, hoping to slow the whirlwind of my thoughts. What was he doing? Did this mean something? I didn’t fucking know. I was leaving for Denver tomorrow and this was… Wow.
“Are you okay, Mase?” Eddie asked, his eyes narrowed.
“I—I’m fine,” I assured him.
“Can I go in the water? I’m s-sandy and I want to be a merman.”
“Yeah. Yeah, good idea.” I should have gone with him, but I wasn’t operating on all cylinders.
“Mason. Mason. Mason!”
“Sorry. Did you say something?”
“Honey…” Mom pointed at the chair I’d abandoned earlier, wordlessly motioning for me to join her. “Are you worried about your friend?”
“My friend. My…Jake?”
She nodded. “Do you think it’ll be a problem for him?”
I shook my head, mumbling my response. “No, I don’t. He’s a legend…a great player, a great role model. He’ll be fine.”
“Will his team support him?”
“Definitely. They love him.”
“Hmm. What about his family?” she pressed.
I kept my eyes fixed on Eddie frolicking in the water. “Yeah, of course.”
“Good. I’m happy for him.”
“Me too. He’s…he’s lucky,” I said distractedly, heart pounding in my ears. Or was that the ocean? Fuck, it was loud.
“So are you. Lucky, I mean.”
“Uh-huh…yeah.”
“I mean it. You have a lot of people who love you. Me, Eddie, your friends, your family. I just hope you know that.”
“I…sure, I do.”
“Good. Because I think you’re used to being the one who takes care of people, and you’re good at it. Like with Eddie.” Mom smiled serenely at the teen bouncing in the water. “I hope you know that we’re here for you too, Mase.”
I squinted. “Okay. Where is this coming from?”
She thumped her heart, her eyes still on Eddie. “Here. You’ve been home for a week, and I can’t help noticing that you’ve been a little blue.”
“Oh.” That was fair. I’d been a wreck for seven solid days, thinking about something I couldn’t have, and now he was out.
Out of the closet. Out in the world. I was still here wishing I was with him.
Mom was talking again. Concentrate, Trinsky. “Should you ever feel alone, remember we’ll always be here.”
Okay, what the fuck?
“Are you…do you think I’m coming out or something?” I asked, exasperated.
“No, but if you were, it would be okay with me.”
“For fuck’s sake.” I wiped my hand over my brow.
Mom chuckled and reached for my hand. “I love you.”
“What is happening here? Jake Milligan comes out, and you’re telling me you love me…just because.”
“That’s right.” She smiled. “And I’m telling you to be as kind to yourself as you are to us. You deserve it, Mase.”
Eddie was spinning in circles in the whitewash, his arms wide and his chin tilted at the sky. I licked my lips, my chest heaving with the weight of a confession I hadn’t planned on giving.
“Jake is…he’s…special to me.”
Mom squeezed my hand. “I know, honey. I know.”
Okay, I was officially reeling.
How had she known? ’Cause at the end of the day, I hadn’t been able to string the words together. I wasn’t sure if she’d seen something or if it had been a mother’s intuition. Hers had been on the fritz where I was concerned…or so I’d thought. But maybe I hadn’t given her the credit she deserved.
Whatever. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. I just wasn’t. I had to get to Denver, meet up with my team, and yeah…I wanted to talk to Jake. I had to talk to him. He hadn’t picked up my calls or responded to my texts, and I wasn’t sure what to think of that. We’d agreed it was over between us, but this was important, damn it.
Jake’s name buzzed in the locker room in Denver. Mostly surprise, a little confusion, but nothing negative. The Condors organization wasn’t your typical hockey team, though. We were the same guys who’d embraced Denny with open arms when he’d come out five years ago. Or was it six? Whatever. We were progressive and inclusive. But this was still news.
I stayed out of the chatter. I felt exposed by it and nervous. Nervous me tended to overcompensate. I skated like I was being chased by demons and played rougher than necessary, clearing lanes like a renegade wrecking ball.