Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
He’d asked me to write a list of “safe” play partners for both of us. He would do the same. He’d write a list of men he didn’t mind that I played with, whether he was around or not.
My limits for openness were essentially nonexistent for as long as I was in the room. But the thought of going off on my own, even if it was with Lane, felt super weird. Not to mention how it triggered my insecurities and jealousy to think of Walker going out with others when I wasn’t around.
What bothered me most was the assumption that I’d be in the mood for kinky fun when I was focused on restoring my marriage. I was even wary of sleeping with Lane right now.
As I’d already told Walker, my body may be open and fluid, but my heart was absurdly monogamous. And that heart demanded we’d be together when we had fun with others.
My phone buzzed with a message as Walker sat down on the foot of the bed, and I noticed he’d shared his list with me too.
I took a breath and read it.
Oh. That was a short list of safe partners.
1. Lane
2. Shay
I exhaled. Strangely, I found a pinch of comfort in this. Walker wasn’t suddenly pushing me into the arms of countless men, nor was he uncaring to write something like “Fuck whoever you want.” Okay, okay, that would be totally unlike him, but whatever.
I heard his dry chuckle.
“You put Dean on the list?”
Well… I managed a smirk and sat down next to him. I’d also listed Lane and the Tenley triad. Those were the only ones I’d listed by name. Then I’d jotted down a quick note, which was the most important thing. Tops were fine. I didn’t have to worry about him finding a better sub if he engaged in casual play with other Tops, be it due to attraction or exchanging experiences at a demo or something.
“Just…” I pinched my bottom lip, hesitating. “Don’t fall in love with anyone. I’d be crushed to hear you went out to dinner with another sub and—”
“I’ll stop you right there, baby.” He placed a hand on my knee, his gaze as gentle as it was firm. “I didn’t want us to do this so that we could throw ourselves into the casual-sex scene. It was an exercise to open our minds to the possibilities. Yes, it’s permission. But permission doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. And certainly not romantic dates—are you out of your mind, boy?”
It was too soon to smile. He wasn’t done.
“You do, however, share a romantic dynamic with Lane,” he went on. “And I genuinely don’t mind that. I find you two precious together. You are precious with him. I didn’t know I’d enjoy watching you be a little dominant with someone that much, but this week has proven me wrong. So as long as your Owner and husband comes first, I want you to feel good about your relationship with that boy. I think you both need each other.”
How the fuck could I feel both incredibly relieved and anxious from hearing that? It was fear, wasn’t it? Fear was the little douchebag within me who cried out for Master to demand we’d be exclusive. But exclusive hadn’t worked for us in the past. We’d used it all wrong. We’d protected our fears instead of conquering them.
Walker eyed the list I’d sent him again, before he faced me once more. “I’m not lookin’ for a sub—even for playtime. I’m hoping to reconnect with my friends. DC is my home, and I never should have left.” He squeezed my knee. “That’s all I’ll be doing in the foreseeable future. Establish my home again, see friends, take you out on dates, become active in the community, help out, work… I’m actually lookin’ forward to meeting up with Ty. He’s comin’ to my studio when he’s back in DC in a couple weeks.”
That would be fun. I bet they could create all kinds of kinky gadgets together. With Ty’s engineering brain and Walker’s experience working with leather, silicone, wood, and glass, there was no end to the possibilities.
“You know what else I’m looking forward to?” he asked.
I shook my head. “What?”
“My husband’s Italian grilled cheese and tomato soup for supper tonight.”
I beamed at him. “Can you spend the night too?”
He smiled wolfishly and gently knocked his forehead to mine. “Try’n stop me.”
While we brought our stuff to Walker’s rental, I kept Lane in my periphery. He was standing by the mailbox, talking quietly with Ty, and the only thing I’d overheard was when Lane said, “So I will see you at that Game thing with the photos, right?”
Then Reese’s booming voice had drowned out Ty’s response.
Lane packed light, so I set his luggage in the back seat. My own took up most of the trunk, with just enough space to squeeze in Walker’s bag too.