Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
I nodded slowly, remembering that feeling too. “No matter how your family’s constructed, losing a member of that team is like losing a limb.”
He inclined his head. “Exactly like that.” Then he tilted his head toward me and asked, “You grew up in a big house, right? I think Macklin mentioned countless brothers—and that you lost your ma.”
“Big brood, small house,” I confirmed. “She was a social worker, wanting to save every kid in Knoxville, and she sure tried. For a long time, we had a revolving door for temporary foster kids—but some stayed and became my brothers.”
We’d practically lived on top of one another in that little house.
“We were raised to work together and take care of one another,” I said. “Soon as we could, my big brother and I got jobs to help out.”
Looking back on my upbringing now, I could see the…mistakes my mother had made, but I still loathed to call them mistakes. Or worse, wrongdoings. Macklin had been the first to point them out—after she’d died—and I hadn’t reacted well. I’d been so defensive.
Macklin hadn’t deserved that one bit. He’d just seen how Dean and I had essentially given up our own childhoods in order to help Ma save others. Dean had picked up his first paper route at the age of ten, and by twelve, he’d been bagging groceries at the local store. I’d mowed lawns, washed cars, and been a farmhand.
Personally, I couldn’t speak ill of my mother. She’d been an angel to so many. A fighter for children and plenty of young, single mothers too.
At the same time, I couldn’t deny that Macklin was right. My mother’s work had come at a substantial cost.
“And your older brother is in the community too, right?” Ty wondered.
“That’s right.” I nodded. “Dean introduced me to kink ages ago, and when Macklin started Mclean House with the others, we got Dean to join too. He’s always been somewhat of a loner, so it took some convincin’.”
Ty chuckled. “I can relate. I quit football in high school because there were too many people on the team.”
I laughed under my breath and sank down against the cushions some more. I mirrored him by planting my feet on the table as well, and the warmth from the fire was an instant reward. I could feel my toes again.
Ty and I grew silent when the winds picked up outside. We leaned back, our heads resting atop the back cushions, and just listened to the storm.
The house creaked despite that it was firmly attached and wall-to-wall with the neighboring buildings.
Terra was at peace again, thankfully. She’d fallen asleep in front of the fire.
I exhaled as a river of contentment slithered through me. It felt damn good to be here. To get to know someone I liked, to just talk, to… I didn’t know how to put it, but it felt like Ty and I were in similar positions. I was trying to fix my marriage. He was going to pursue someone new. And those two subs happened to share their own relationship.
It was a unique situation that didn’t offer a whole lot of room to move, because each step could have dire consequences, and that made my head want to explode. Making a new friend in Ty might be exactly what I needed—and hopefully what he needed too.
He was very easy to talk to for some reason. I didn’t feel like there were topics I should stay away from or keep to myself.
“I don’t know what to do about Lane.”
Ty’s quiet confession led me to believe his thoughts had wandered a similar path as my own.
We turned our faces to each other, and he asked, “Do you have any helpful advice about open relationships?”
Me? Helpful advice? About open relationships?
“Not a single bit,” I replied honestly.
He grinned and slapped a hand over his face.
It made me chuckle. “I’m just reachin’ blindly with Macklin,” I admitted. “Instinct tells me to pull him close and never let go—but that’ll suffocate us both.” Because it wasn’t just him. There was a world for me to explore too, and I had no clue of how to go about it. It wasn’t like I had any interest in just…fucking around.
Ty hummed. “Lately, I can relate to that too. I never thought I would, but Lane’s makin’ me feel shit I didn’t think was possible. I’ve never felt possessive before, for instance.”
Yeah, I knew that feeling.
“But he’s obviously into the openness,” he finished. “I think.”
Hmm. Maybe it was circumstantial. “The only conclusion I’ve drawn about Macklin and me—and the makeup of our relationship—is that we need to be more open than the shitshow we turned our marriage into last time. But I don’t think we’re as open as we thought we might be while we were still single.” I scratched my forehead, fucking confusing myself. Did any of that make sense? “In other words, the people we’re with will probably set the boundaries. Lane comes with his own set with Macklin. And if we were to invite someone else, say, the Tenleys and Shay… That would be its own dynamic with other rules. That would just be casual playtime, presumably not even with River and Reese involved physically.”