Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 112701 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112701 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
But I ruined that with my toxic words.
I tarnished everything we could’ve had by allowing Tabitha’s venom to flow through me. To make a home in my veins and turn me cold and incapable of love.
No. Not incapable.
Raven proved that wrong.
Because I do love her. It took me losing her to realize it.
Laying my head back on the seat, I prepare for the flight, my stomach twisting in knots, knowing the mess I’m about to walk into and the devastation I left behind.
44
Raven
“To hell with boys,” Lily says, raising a glass of bourbon on the rocks.
We skipped right over our typical drinks, going straight to the strong stuff.
I know it’s not what I need. It’ll only dull the pain for a while.
It hurts.
I understand my mom’s anguish a little bit more. Although mine is only a fraction of what she experienced.
I filled Lily in on all the events, not sparing a single detail, and she listened.
“What was the bitch’s name?” she growls.
I shrug my shoulders. “She said her name is Tabitha.”
Lily pulls my computer toward her and starts typing away. Within five minutes, her eyes look up and meet mine.
“Is this her?”
She turns the computer around, showing me a picture.
I nod.
“This is bad,” she says. “There’s a whole lot more to the story.”
My eyes narrow. “Tell me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
She clicks keys, eyes scanning the screen.
“According to a few London tabloids, her name is Tabitha Murphy. She’s a London socialite whose father squandered every last penny they had.”
My eyebrows rise.
“So she’s a money-grubbing whore?”
“And then some.” She cackles. “She was smart and got a full-ride scholarship to Cambridge. Used that circuit to rise up in the ranks, attaching herself to wealthy businessmen and aristocracy.”
“Wow. How in the hell did she end up with Charles?”
“Hard to tell. Her list of suitors is long, but none lasted more than a few months.”
“They likely caught on to her gold-digging ways,” I say, and Lily grunts in agreement.
“The worst part,” she says, taking a breath. “Not long after the engagement between her and Charles ended, she married Charles Cavendish.”
My head jolts back. “They got married?”
Bile rises in my throat, and I think I’m going to vomit right here.
She shakes her head slowly back and forth. “No.” She stresses the word, and my nose scrunches in confusion. “She married his father.”
My mouth drops open.
Everything that Charles said about his rules and staying away from relationships filters through my mind, making complete sense.
She did a number on him.
“His father?”
“Yeah. Pretty low, right? The woman’s a snake.”
My head shakes back and forth. “She’s worse.”
Lily nods. “Raven, I’m going to level with you. I think he probably has many demons brought on by her. A lot of self-doubts. When he bared his soul to you, and you didn’t reciprocate, all that came crashing around him.” She sighs. “I’m not saying the way he acted was right, but this makes it a little clearer.”
I hurt him.
Made him feel like he didn’t matter to me while basking in the material glamour surrounding me.
Just like she did.
“I need to make things right.”
There’s a knock on my door, and Lily stands to open it.
Asher enters, walking right to me and pulling me into his chest.
It’s the first I’ve seen him since our fallout, and it breaks me further. Tears roll down my face, my heart breaking and mending at the same time. I’d missed Asher so damn much, and his coming here despite all that means the world to me.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I whimper. “Not at all.”
He hugs me tight, cooing words of encouragement in my ear. When I’m finally calm, he pulls back.
“What did he do?”
The anger pouring off him is intense, and although it’s misplaced, my chest swells with love for him.
“Nothing. He did nothing,” I cry. “It was me. I ruin everything,” I admit. “I’m so sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean—”
He hugs me tighter. “Don’t. It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I cry. “I hurt you.”
He sighs, placing a kiss on top of my head. “We can’t help who we love.”
Sadness.
It radiates from him, and I wonder if there will ever be a day when we can return to how we were. I stay wrapped in his arms, crying tears of grief, terrified that things will never be the same between us, but mostly, crying for the loss of a love I don’t think I’ll ever experience again.
Because feelings that deep don’t happen twice in a lifetime.
It might’ve been a whirlwind romance one step short of instalove, but it was our story. Charles and I were meant to fall for each other. I know that without a shred of doubt.
“Are we okay?” I whisper into Asher’s shoulder.
“We will be.” He kisses me on top of my head again. “I promise.”
I hold on to that, allowing him to hug me while I cry until there are no more tears to spill.