Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 112917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112917 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
“Were you out in Ventdestine?”
Bear didn’t answer right away.
“I’m sorry. Tell me if I’m being too nosy,” I said quickly. “It’s just… I really thought you were straight. There was a story online that you dated a woman on the same security team in Ventdestine—”
“You’re not nosy. I’m just not used to being open about it.” He made a face. “The story about the woman was something the PR office did. There was a rumor that a guard had been spotted at a gay club while on holiday in London, so the royal PR office arranged for all of the high-profile male guards to be seen around town with women. And no, to answer your other question, I was not out in Ventdestine. I couldn’t be. It’s illegal there.”
“Who was the guy? The guard, I mean. What happened to him?”
“It blew over. Those rumors were always happening since actual gay people exist, and guys in the guard were probably actually fucking while on leave… and at any other time, for that matter.” Bear sighed.
I felt a sliver of discomfort at the idea of Bear fucking someone while on leave… or ever. “Did you ever hook up with him?”
Bear found my hand and twined his fingers through mine. “I told you, it’s illegal in Ventdestine.”
“No, I know, but… surely people still do it.”
“Surely they do. But I didn’t.”
“You didn’t? Like… ever? I mean, if you were both in the guards, the stakes would have been just as high for him as you. Seems ideal for keeping it secret.”
Bear squeezed my hand. “When Asger Salling offered me the job to come to Ventdestine, I knew what I was getting into. I knew I was sacrificing my personal life for professional gain. It was an honor to be asked, to be recognized for saving him, and I was proud of it. And even if he claimed the winds of fortune had commanded it, I also knew his choice to elevate a foreigner to his personal guard earned Asger a lot of side-eye, at least until I proved myself. I understood that I’d been given an opportunity, and I didn’t want to fuck it up.”
Bear paused again, so I moved a little closer and kissed him softly. He smiled against my lips. “This isn’t helping me tell the story,” he murmured. I kissed him through it.
Finally, Bear pulled back. And he was no longer smiling. “So I took the oath. And then proceeded to spend twelve years upholding it.”
I tried to figure out what that meant. “You… didn’t hook up with anyone for twelve years?”
He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I remember asking one of the other guards about the law once. We’d just coordinated a visit with the head of the Norwegian royal family’s security, and Kasper had politely asked after the woman’s wife like it was no big deal. So I said, since Kasper seemed fairly accepting of gay marriage, did he think the Ventdestinian laws about homosexuality should be changed? You should have seen the look on his face. ‘The winds of fate don’t look kindly on change.’”
I shook my head. As confining as my career sometimes was, I realized how privileged I was that I’d never had to hide my sexuality. But mostly, I was still stuck back on… “Twelve years?”
Bear chuckled. “Yes. I’ve hooked up with men in the past. But I haven’t been with one in a very, very long time.”
I stared at Bear as the image I had of him was shaken like a snow globe in the hands of a toddler on a sugar high… which was maybe why I sounded like one when I voiced my reaction.
“B-but… why? You’ve been back in the States for over a year! You could have been sleeping with tons of guys!”
He glanced away before shrugging. “I didn’t want to jump into anything.”
“Okay, but like… you could. You could jump into… me, for example.” My face burned with pre-embarrassment, but I wasn’t about to lose my shot at getting Ryan Galloway’s hands on me again.
I’d developed a crush on my bodyguard pretty much the moment we’d met. When the tall, muscled man with dark brown hair, darker brown eyes, shadowy beard, and the sexiest broody expression I’d ever seen walked into the reception area of the recording studio, I’d nearly swallowed my tongue.
And apparently, my deepest fantasy—that Bear was into men and found me physically attractive—was also coming true. My heart felt like it was attached to electrodes set to shock over and over with an unpredictable irregularity.
Bear looked hesitant. “I want to. I want a repeat more than anything…”
“But?” I cocked my head.
He blew out a breath. “But I worry that it’s not a good idea to cross a professional line—”
“No one would need to know. And you could… finally get…” I didn’t know how to say what I was thinking because my thoughts were like multicolored bumper cars being driven by hamsters on speed.