Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 114577 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 573(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114577 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 573(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Brian had to show Sway he was feeling it too. He’d missed him as well. He bent and brushed his lips across Sway’s moist ones and slowly mouthed. ‘Hey, baby.’
“Mmmm,” Sway moaned against his mouth. “Hey.”
They didn’t say anything else for a moment, letting their tongues and touches do the talking. Using their hands to quench the longing. If it wasn’t for Brian’s stomach growling loudly they probably would’ve moved their re-familiarizing to the bedroom.
“Hungry?” Sway laughed in Brian’s mouth.
Brian smiled and nodded, mouthing, ‘Always.’
“I am too.” Sway took over drying himself off when Brian regretfully released the towel. “I didn’t really get a chance to eat lunch, or take a break for that matter.” Sway followed Brian, talking continuously about his day. “The first trial patients came this week so all the nurses are tripping over themselves to do a good job and in turn making some thoughtless mistakes and overlooks. Hopefully next week, we’ll have worked the kinks out and—”
Brian had been so caught up in the domestic vibe that he’d mindlessly removed his dark jeans and sweater, changing into a pair of plain Nike sweats and a taking out a white, wife-beater. He noticed Sway had stopped talking while he stood with his back to his tall dresser. Realization hit Brian like a hammer to the skull. He went to turn slowly, terrified of the look that he knew would be all over Sway’s face. What had he been thinking? He never removed his shirt in front of anyone—at least not from behind.
“Brian,” Sway whispered reverently.
Brian jumped at Sway’s close proximity. He wanted to move, deflect, something, but his legs were frozen in place. Warm, nimble fingers caressed his rigid shoulders before shakily moving towards the center of his tight blades.
“Relax, please. It’s okay.” Sway spoke in a voice that Brian wanted to desperately believe was reserved only for him. “Brian,” he whispered so softly.
He finally managed to bring his brain online. To convince himself that Sway was not mortified by what he saw. He was touching him, touching them. My scars. Up and down his back and the backs of his thighs. His dense black chest hair hid the ones in the front but not the ones on his back. Countless raised angry welts from the frayed whip that sometimes woke him. Jagged scarring from hurled stones while they had barked at him to confess America’s secrets. Numerous healed over scratches from debris after being dragged across a cave floor for many grueling months, marred his skin like an ever-encompassing reminder of that time. Even now he still couldn’t believe he’d held out that long… even after Jenkins died.
Brian began to shake. He didn’t want Sway to see this yet. Goddammit. Every time they tried to have an evening, something heavy weighed on them. And, unfortunately it was always Brian bringing the weight. Fuck! If he didn’t stop dumping all this heavy shit so fast and so soon, he was going to lose this one. But, Sway, Sway was trying so hard and Brian was screwing it up.
“Brian!” Sway’s voice was louder than before, but Brian was hardly hearing him, even when he started to yell it. “Brian! Oh God. Honey, look at me. Please look at me.”
Brian could feel his legs weakening. Grunting roughly, he wanted to stop it, heaven knows he did, but he knew he was going down. As his oxygen lessened, his head spun, and his ass hit the floor with a loud thud. He could hear Sway’s frantic pleas, but he couldn’t control his body. His breathing became more and more difficult as he thought of how he sabotaged everything good in his damn life. His mission, his career, his life… now this. Sway wasn’t supposed to see those ugly things, at least not yet.
“Breathe. Just look at me and breathe, baby.” Sway’s warm hands clasped his damp cheeks, making him keep his blown pupils on him. “That’s it. Try again. Breathe.”
Brian kept watching Sway’s face, and using those thin, strong fingers as his anchor. He had to come back to him. He couldn’t let him keep begging him. Brian fought to take in another breath, only to choke harshly on it. All the while, Sway held him tight and whispered exactly what Colton always instructed when Brian had a panic attack. Breathe, focus, relax, calm, count. Sway knew it all, knew exactly what to do for him.
Brian blinked a couple of times when he finally came to. He was still on the floor of his bedroom, but he had his throw from the recliner draped over him and a pillow had been placed under his head.
Sway.
Brian swallowed hard and moved to sit up. His head wasn’t pounding as hard as it usually did after an attack, but it didn’t mean a damn thing for his pride, which was wounded. His next immediate thought was: is Sway still here? The smell of frying meat hit his nose and the faint sound of soft jazz met his ears. Not knowing if he felt relieved or upset that he had to face him after ruining another night, he got up and made his way to his bathroom, wanting to rid himself of the sweat that’d dried on his face and neck. He started the shower, making it quick, wanting to hurry back to Sway and… and thank him… again.