Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 106150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
My stomach swooped again, harder this time.
“It’s a lot of work. I feel a huge responsibility to the people I’m helping, obviously. I want the best for them, to respect their goals and vision. And then, of course, there’s my responsibility to uphold the Sterling Chase brand. To make sure that all the financial dealings are fair while keeping an eye on costs and profit margins. It means a lot of long hours, but I enjoy it.” I hesitated, then said honestly, “At least… most of the time.”
“Shit,” Rowe murmured, almost to himself. “Profit margins.”
“Well, yeah. Obviously, that’s not the company’s highest priority—” I broke off, thinking of Austin. “Or not the only high priority, anyway.”
“But Sterling Chase probably signs the projects that have the strongest potential for profitability because it’s a for-profit company.” Rowe shook his head ruefully. “Don’t mind me. I’m just realizing how little I know about the business aspect of business, that’s all. It’s a little embarrassing how naive I’ve been. I’m so excited about my project and its potential impact on people that I didn’t understand why the folks at these development companies weren’t getting excited, too. I didn’t really think about how much work is involved on the back end. Of course a company only wants to invest their money in something if it’ll make them money.”
“That’s not entirely correct,” I argued, stung by Rowe’s easy acceptance of this as a normal business practice and more by the fact that I couldn’t really argue with him. “The projects Sterling Chase has green-lit recently have been more commercial, I suppose. But money isn’t my goal. The projects I get involved with personally are the ones that are the most challenging and which have the highest impact on people’s lives. That’s what I find rewarding.”
“But…” Rowe wrinkled his nose in thought. “If you’re saying you pick your projects from the ones Sterling Chase already green-lit, but Sterling Chase focuses on things that are commercial and profitable, doesn’t that mean the ones you’re working on are gonna be the most profitable and not necessarily the most rewarding, just by default?” He grimaced. “Sorry, maybe I’m misunderstanding the whole thing.”
Or maybe I was.
His words hit me in a way I hadn’t considered before. I thought about how much less passionate I’d been lately towards my work.
“Well, shit.” I sat forward, my hands on my knees.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Should we not be talking about this—?”
“No. Not that. I’m just having a revelation.” I laughed weakly. “For months now, or maybe even years, I’ve noticed myself getting restless. Bored. I’m dedicated to the projects I’m working on, and they are challenging, and I do enjoy them, but they don’t hold my attention the way they once did. So I started throwing myself into other stuff, too—adventure sports, travel to far-off places—and even that hasn’t been working anymore. So I started taking on more projects, poking my nose into ones I’m not even supposed to be involved in, which annoys the fuck out of Sterling Chase’s head of development, looking for a challenge…”
Rowe continued to munch on the snack mix and take sips of his beer like he hadn’t quietly set off a chain of small earthquakes in my brain. “Okay. And?”
And this one simple conversation over snacks, with a guy who didn’t understand business at all, had shone a bright light on why. Because Austin picked the projects, and Austin didn’t take risks.
“And you just helped me realize that’s not enough for me. I need to make a change. I need to be working on bigger stuff. Ideas that are more important to me, personally.” I grabbed his face with two hands and pulled him in for an impulsive kiss. “And now I feel like I’ve been naive.”
For people like Austin—and my father—profitability was about numbers. But my own definition skewed slightly from theirs in a way that I couldn’t fully explain… or hadn’t been able to, until right now, when Rowe had helped me put it all together. It was about knowing the investment of my time and energy would yield something I could be proud of.
I wasn’t sure exactly what that would look like, practically speaking, but it felt like I was finally looking in the right direction.
He gave me a hesitant smile and settled in against my side. “Well, good. I bet work’s way more satisfying when you know in your heart that the project is worthwhile, right? I mean, it is for me.”
“Yes. Definitely. And to be fair, it’s not like most of the stuff Sterling Chase is working on currently isn’t also great. Not everything is the CaffApp—” I gave him a side-eyed look that made him laugh out loud.
“Is there a TeaApp in the works, too?” he teased. “A CocoaApp?”
“No, Sassypants,” I growled, poking his side. “One of the projects Sterling Chase is working on right now is amazing. Very tied in to the ETC program.”