Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 106150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
“Shittily? He wanted to come with me,” I corrected.
“No, I mean barking at me about him not being anything special. About not being your boyfriend. You didn’t need to be so callous about it. Way to claim your real feelings.”
“That’s not…” I began, then hesitated, feeling my face go hot. “It isn’t…” I tried once more, running a hand through my hair. “We aren’t…”
My thoughts were tangled inside my brain. I wanted to deny all of what he was saying—that I hadn’t done any of those things and that Rowe definitely hadn’t looked at me that way, but the words stuck in my throat. I had denied Rowe the chance to talk about his project, the one thing that meant almost the most to him in the world.
And that was shitty.
Landry narrowed his eyes, and for the first time all morning, I felt like he really looked at me. “Are you alright?”
“Yes. No.” I blew out a breath that sounded like a frustrated groan and sank down onto the side of the bed, near Landry’s knee. “I don’t know.”
He sat forward, bending his legs. “Talk to me.”
I opened my mouth. Shut it again. “I don’t even know where to start. God, this is so absurd. Seriously, the most overly emotional, ridiculous—”
“All my favorite things. You came to the right place.” Landry prodded my shoulder. “Go on.”
“I like the guy,” I admitted. “I… care about him. I’m attracted to him, yes, but it’s… more than that. I think. And I know what you’re gonna say, okay? I’ve known the guy for a day and a half. And none of it was real—he lied about being Sterling Chase nearly the whole time; I lied about being his assistant, too. And even though we talked about all that and why he lied, he still has a project he wants funded—”
“I know.”
“What? How?”
“From Dev.” Landry rolled his eyes. “Honestly, do you never check the group chat?”
Rarely, and especially not this weekend. “Then you know what all the others—Dev, Silas, even Kenji— are saying. Rowe can’t be trusted. I’m getting in too deep too fast. I run a billion-dollar company, and he delivers burritos. There’s no future between us—I can’t fathom what one would look like, even if I were sure I wanted one. I assure you, I know all of that. I knew this weekend with him was a one-time thing.”
I waited for Landry to say something cutting, but all he said was “And?”
“And? Nothing.” I worried my top lip and stared at the artwork over the bed without really seeing it. “And I don’t know. I mean, Jesus, what do you do when you feel drawn to someone, but the situation is all wrong? When you feel like you know someone, and they know you, but it was probably all just the heat of the moment or the novelty of the thing? What do you do when you don’t want to let someone go, but there’s no room for them to stay because you already know what your priorities are? The potential for this to go staggeringly wrong is just… enormous.”
Landry watched me pensively for a long moment before speaking. “You remember the night before we sold ETC?”
“Huh?” I blinked and focused on him. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You were a nervous wreck.” He grinned suddenly. “We were still crammed into that little office over by the Flatiron that barely fit three desks for the five of us because it was all we could afford when we left New Haven, and we’d stuck there because it was easier than moving, remember? The other guys were exhausted that night because you’d made us go over everything for the hundredth time—the system, the notes, the contracts that our lawyer had already gone over with us. Finally, Silas went to grab food, and Zane and Dev went back to that shitty apartment we were renting, but you were still working, working, working. Compulsively.”
“Yes, I know.” I scrubbed both hands over my face. “I’m a workaholic. Sterling Chase is my life. That’s the problem.”
“Shhh. Don’t interrupt. So, that night, I was waiting around for you, but you kept biting my head off. ‘Five more minutes, Landry. Five more minutes. Can’t you see I’m busy?’ without even looking up from your desk. And finally, I snapped. I was like, ‘I am hungry. I am tired. It’s the middle of the night. What the fuck, Sebastian? There is no more to do here.’ And you looked up at me, right? And you said, ‘But what if I’m wrong, Landry? What if we weren’t supposed to sell? What if there was more for us to do?’ I was so used to seeing you as this guy who was born with money and privilege, who had confidence baked into his pores, and you were practically paralyzed by second-guessing yourself. I’d never seen you like that before or since. Freaked me out.”