Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
I gasped, and my eyes watered. “Love?”
“Yeah,” he replied, not looking away from me. “I love you. I know it’s soon and—”
“I love you too! So much.”
“And that’s why it hurt even more, right? What happened?”
I looked down and nodded. “Yes.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I don’t ever want to make you feel that way.” This time Jake did reach over. He cupped my face and tilted my head up so I looked at him again. “I want you to know you’re safe in my arms, but that I know you’re strong outside of them too. I want to comfort you, not control you. If you need me, I’ll be there, but I’ll always respect your wishes and I’ll always see your strength.”
He closed his eyes, breathed deeply, then opened them again. “And I, um…I talked to my mom. You were right, that night after the barbecue. There are some things in my past I need to work through. I’m doing that. Mom and I are going to go to therapy. There’s so much inside my head that I never let out, never dealt with. I kept pushing forward, trying to be strong.”
“I know. You’re safe in my arms too, Jake. I’ve spent my whole life letting other people control me or be my strength, and you’ve spent yours putting your feelings aside to be brave for others. You can be vulnerable with me. You can depend on me. You don’t have to always be strong.”
Then…then I crawled toward him, got onto his lap, and Jake wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest, twined my arms around him too, and we held each other. It wasn’t just Jake comforting me; it was taking comfort in each other. Being vulnerable for each other and strong for each other. Complementing each other.
“I missed this,” Jake said.
“I missed it too. I love the way it feels when we hold each other.”
“Can I tell you a little more? About Mom and my past?”
“You can always talk to me.”
We lay down on the couch together, and I held Jake while he talked. I listened and lent him my strength the way he so often did for me. We spoke more about Saturday night, and my mom, and I knew that everything was going to be okay.
When we were done, I kissed him softly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Enough to have dinner with my mom tomorrow night? I’d like you to meet her.”
A smile stretched over his face. “I’d love to.”
“Are you sure? You don’t know what you’re getting into,” I teased.
“Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together.”
“Together,” I agreed. Always.
38
Jake
I pulled through the airport departure lane and jerked the truck in park. Seth immediately jumped out to retrieve his mom’s bag. As I gripped the door handle to exit as well, she stopped me by placing her hand on my arm. I stiffened, wondering what she might have left to say after an awesome dinner where we talked about plenty of different topics. Even though it had initially been awkward for all involved, in the end everyone seemed to relax and have a great time. Seeing Seth and his mom laughing together while recounting childhood stories had been worth it. I hoped he could eventually have as close a relationship with her as I had with my mom. Only time would tell.
“It was great meeting you,” she said as I turned to her. “You’re a good man, and though it’s hard for me to leave right now, I feel confident you’ll take good care of him.”
I opened my mouth to say something—maybe to rebuke his needing me for anything—but she beat me to the punch.
“Not that he needs taking care of,” she said, as if catching herself, much like I’d been learning to do. We definitely had that in common. “Just that someone treats him well.”
“I would never want to hurt him—never, ever on purpose,” I replied, feeling that familiar guilt churn in my gut again. “I love him. He’s amazing and—”
“He is, isn’t he?” Her smile was dreamy, as if she was seeing him in a whole new light. And given all they’d done and discussed this week, that was more than likely the case. It made me feel optimistic, and I expected she felt the same. “Anyway, I hope we can become fast friends. Your mom too. She’s a wonderful lady.”
I grinned. “She thinks you are too.”
And then she hugged me. As I looked over her shoulder to see Seth watching us through the window with an adorable smile, I was even more heartened.
We waited until she got inside the terminal, then drove back to my place, our fingers interlaced between us, Seth lost in his thoughts, no doubt processing the week with his mom. I was grateful just to be beside him right then as he sat in quiet contemplation, and the ache in my chest finally subsided.