Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
But then I thought of the way he looked at me, like maybe he liked what he saw. Even if that were true, if Jake was bi and attracted to me, eventually he would want more than to cuddle with me, and as much as I wanted that as well, I didn’t think it was something I could give.
16
Jake
The following Monday at work I still couldn’t shake Seth from my brain. So I put my earbuds in, rolled beneath the F-150 I was working on, and cranked up the music.
Even Mom had noticed I was a bit preoccupied when I was at her new place to hang shelves and arrange furniture the morning after Seth slept over.
I didn’t tell her that part, though.
“How was last night?” she’d asked. “Did you go see Seth play?”
“Yep,” I replied, and she looked relieved. Probably because she was worried I’d only obsess about her safety, and she wouldn’t have been wrong. “He was incredible.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You seem in awe.”
I chuckled. “I was. And of his friend Jesse too. They played off each other, and it was an awesome show.”
She handed me a screwdriver. “I’m so glad you had fun.”
“And how about your night?”
“I’m getting used to the new sounds of my apartment, like the refrigerator.” She smiled as she motioned toward the small kitchenette area. That was when the low hum from the appliance registered. I was about to suggest she should talk to the super about it, but kept my mouth shut instead.
“But it felt good to wake up in my own place this morning.” She reached out to pat my hand. “I needed to do this.”
“I know, Ma.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m happy for you.”
I couldn’t fault her kicking me out early either, but at least she fed me first with the large pizza she’d ordered. I’d definitely miss her cooking. Not that she’d never have me over for dinner, but it was high time to start thinking about fending for myself.
Still, going home to an empty house would continue to be strange for a while. I’d almost texted Seth last night to ask if he wanted to hang out, but that was absurd.
Besides, I had some shit to figure out first, so some distance would do us both good. Not that he needed it from me, and honestly, I had no idea what the hell he was thinking, though I’d certainly love to know.
I refocused on the F-150, loosening the lug nuts, then the calipers, before adjusting the new rotors as I considered my options where Seth was concerned.
Would I want to start something with Seth if he was attracted to me?
“I feel so stupid, but sometimes I feel like…I don’t know, it kind of broke me or something. Like it ruined me.”
Damn. After what he’d told me about his experience with that asshole, I wasn’t sure he could even go there with me. Or anyone, for that matter, by the way he’d said it. I may have been way off base, but it sounded like Jesse had provided that security for him while they were roommates, and now he was as lost without his safety net as I was.
I wasn’t even sure what I’d have to offer Seth anyway. Except maybe closeness. I really enjoyed cuddling with him—go figure—and that would totally be enough. For now.
But that was taking a leap from fantasy to actual contact with someone.
Did I really want that? The question of the day.
I’d already taken a chance by going to him during a nightmare and holding him all night, and the way he felt in my arms made my stomach all warm.
And my dick really hard. Pesky side effect.
Yeah, I’d want…something with Seth. Even if it was only hanging out or holding him again.
Holy shit. I’d actually admitted it.
But the implications of what that meant showed themselves way too early, while I was standing near the air compressor, lowering the car from the lift.
“What’d ya do this weekend?” Tad asked, wiping his hands on a rag.
“Hopefully he got laid,” Brett added, reaching for the jack stand near the tool bench. “’Cuz I sure did.”
Tad and Brett high-fived. Brett was always exaggerating details about his many hookups—unless Mia was around to set his ass straight. But I hated being so uncertain in front of them on this topic when I wasn’t in every other area of my life.
My muscles grew tense, which annoyed me, because this was a bunch of bullshit. So I went to a gay club to see a friend. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but it seemed I was second-guessing everything lately.
“Well, for one, I helped my mom move into her new place,” I replied, choosing the safer topic first.
“How’s that feeling?” Tucker asked, thumping me on the shoulder.
“It’s gotta feel awesome finally having the place to himself. Duh,” Brett replied with an eye roll.