Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 77353 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77353 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
So, now, it’s been festering. Like an open wound.
And my mind’s been picking and picking and picking at it for so long that by the time four o’clock rolled around, I was wired.
“Fuck it,” I mutter, grabbing my phone to check the time. Four-thirty.
Despite it feeling like an eternity, only half an hour has passed.
Coffee.
Coffee will make things better.
With slow, measured movements, I slide out of the bed and pad across the room. The last thing I want is for Maverick to wake up, especially before I’ve had a chance to sort out all of the swirling thoughts bumping around inside of my head.
I pause at the door, pressing my ear to the wood, listening for signs of life. But there’s nothing. I’m good to go.
The hinges squeak as I nudge the door open, and I swear my heart leaps in my chest. But the house is still quiet.
Until I start the coffee maker. It gurgles to life, and I swear, the sounds coming from it are loud enough to wake the dead.
My heart is pounding like a kickdrum as I fumble for the cord and rip the plug from the wall, plunging the house back into silence.
After several deep breaths, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and make a mad dash for the back porch. It’s cold as hell, but my thick, cozy pajamas, along with the big fancy patio heater, will keep me warm.
I flip the switch on the heat and settle into the closest chair, drawing my legs up under me for extra heat.
The cold air nips at me as I stare out toward the towering mountain peaks, all of last night’s thoughts continuing to torment me.
Namely, why on earth did he kiss me? The whole encounter was a minute at most, but those sixty freaking seconds are on a continuous loop in my brain.
How is it possible to be simultaneously filled with ecstasy and agony?
I know Orion’s a good man—I’ve known it since the night we met in the VIP room at ATF. Most men would have tried to touch me, to take advantage, but he waited for my consent. Not just once, but every time.
And seeing him with Maverick, especially knowing he doesn’t like kids, does all kinds of funny things to my heart.
Plain and simple, the man reduces me to goo.
He’s a promise of happiness and a whisper of hurt all at the same time.
Risk versus reward.
Is pursuing Orion Cartwright worth risking my heart for the chance of a happily ever after?
As soon as I ask myself the question, tears fill my eyes. Because deep down, I already know the answer.
There’s nothing on this earth worth jeopardizing my son’s happiness.
I curl in on myself as the weight of reality crushes in on me from all sides. Orion’s not mine—never has been and never will be. He’s nothing to me.
He can’t be.
Mav is already so attached. He would be shattered if things went poorly between us, and let’s be real—they would. Everyone leaves.
And why would a man like him want to shackle himself to a woman like me? Stella said it herself—he doesn’t even like kids, so clearly he’s not shopping for a ready-made family.
Not to mention, aside from a brief peck on the mouth, he’s never given me—the real me—any indication that he’s interested.
Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe I’m so desperate for affection that I’m seeing things—feeling things—that aren’t really there.
That man could have any woman he wants, and I’d be an idiot to think for one single second that it’s me.
Birdie, maybe. She’s fun and sexy and bold. Confident…
Everything I’m not.
Tears roll down my cheeks, dripping off my chin, as I mourn the loss of something I never had.
Stupid girl.
I know better than to let myself get attached. But it’s better this way, to put him away in a box with just friends clearly marked on the label.
It’s like my mom used to say, there’s a time and a place, Frankie, and this is neither the time or the place, so get it together.
And so, as the sun begins to light the sky, I will myself to get a grip—on my heart, my mind, my feelings… My freaking life.
“Missing something?” a deep voice asks from behind me, sending my heart back into a frenzy.
“Orion!” I discreetly wipe away my tears as I twist around to face him. “You scared me.”
“How?” He quirks a brow. “I called your name three times.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “Did you?”
His lips kick up into a boyish grin. “Yup.”
I blink twice, willing my heart to calm down. “Sorry. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just figured I’d check on you.” He slips past me and lowers himself into the chair to my right before placing two mugs down onto the table between us. “I figured you could use a cup. What’d the coffee maker do to you, anyway?”