Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74321 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 297(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
“I have to. I never felt right about taking it in the first place. Jasper had a lot of compelling arguments for why I should, but he didn’t know how this was going to develop. The thing is, Wes,” I tilted my head to look up at him, “I’m not a sex worker. I never have been. Well, let me amend that. I never have been, except for the time I let you pay me to come with you on this trip. To be clear, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that job, and I don’t judge my friend for it. But it’s not who I am.”
He murmured, “Oh thank god.” Then he quickly added, “Please don’t misunderstand. I didn’t judge you when I thought you were a prostitute, but I hated the idea of sharing you with other men. I know it’s just a job, but I seem to be very territorial when it comes to you.”
“Go right ahead and be territorial. I like it.” He grinned at me, and I returned my head to his chest as I said, “I was planning to tell you the truth about the whole fake sex worker thing when this trip was over, by the way. I expected you to be really upset after seeing your ex and your brother, so I thought I should avoid any bombshells or drama while we were here.”
“I thought seeing them would hurt, but it didn’t. There’s definitely some residual anger there, and I don’t think that’s going away anytime soon. I’m mad at myself as much as I am at them, actually.”
“Why?”
“Because I think I always knew I was just a consolation prize to Jack, and I let myself settle for the crumbs he threw me because I was afraid of losing him.” He sighed, and after a pause he said, “I’m never doing that again, not for anyone.”
“Good. You deserve to be treated like the treasure you are.”
“It’s pretty tough to see myself as a treasure, since my family’s always made me feel like I’m not good enough.”
“But they’re full of shit, and you know it. Your mother is cold and judgmental, and your parents’ standards aren’t normal or reasonable. Shame on them for failing to appreciate how truly wonderful you are. I can see why you went into pediatrics, by the way, after watching you with your niece. You’re amazing with her, and it’s no wonder she adores you.”
“Millie’s such a great kid. I was worried Camille would be just like our mother, but she’s really surprised me. She could be more understanding about the fact that Millie’s an introvert, but she’s done a good job nurturing her daughter and allowing her to be herself, instead of trying to fit her into the family mold.”
“Do you want kids of your own?”
“Someday,” he said, “but I’m not ready yet. I want my life to be a lot more stable before I make such a big commitment.”
“I know what you mean. I have this dream of taking in a bunch of LGBT kids who were disowned by their families and building a wonderful life for them. But I know I’m years away from being able to actually do something like that. They’d need stability, like you said, and it wouldn’t be fair to saddle them with a parent who can barely make rent.”
“Which goes back to what I was saying. I’m dead serious about you keeping the money,” he said. “I doubt being a DJ pays much, and I know how ridiculously overinflated rents are in San Francisco, so I think it could help you.”
“I can’t just take eighteen grand from you, Wes. Even if that’s not a lot of money to you, it’s a fortune to me. Just so you know, I spent a little of it on clothes for this trip, and it’ll take me a while to pay that back. But the rest of it is right where I left it, along with that contract I never signed agreeing to no sexual contact.” We both grinned at that last part.
“But you bought those clothes because you were accompanying me on this trip,” he said, “and you’re also missing a lot of work to be here. I don’t want helping me to hurt you financially.”
“But those are choices I made.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Let’s stick a pin in this argument until we get back home.”
“Is this an argument?”
He grinned and told me, “It will be once you realize there’s no chance I’m taking that money back.”
I grinned, too. Then I wrapped my arms around him and asked, “Why is this so important to you?”
“I know you’ve taken care of yourself since you were eighteen, and I totally respect the fact that you’ve been following your dreams and making a go of it in such a tough city. But it worried me when you were talking about your job insecurity.” He traced my jaw as he said softly, “I need to know you’ll be okay, always.”