Total pages in book: 27
Estimated words: 25437 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 127(@200wpm)___ 102(@250wpm)___ 85(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 25437 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 127(@200wpm)___ 102(@250wpm)___ 85(@300wpm)
Those words connect with my chest like a battering ram.
My God, what have I done?
Stunned at how quickly I’ve embarked on a fall from grace, I watch as Farrah scrambles into a sitting position, her chocolate tossed unceremoniously into the grass. It’s impossible not to notice her nipples are hard, poking against the snug bodice of her dress. Impossible not to notice her cheeks are flushed pink from my attention, her tumble of red hair mussed from lying down.
What would I have done if Monsignor Hannibal hadn’t arrived?
You know what you’d be doing.
She’d be squealing in delight right now while I suckled her clit, the same way she sucked on that chocolate. I might even be riding her for broke, her panties ripped off in my fist, my vow of celibacy broken in the most animalistic way possible.
Dear God.
I’ve never had a women affect me like this.
Mere minutes in her tough but vulnerable presence and I’ve forgotten that I’ve dedicated my life to my faith. I’ve forgotten how a man letting his physical needs rule his life only leads to pain and ruin and humiliation.
“Don’t worry,” Farrah whispers for my ears alone, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’ve got this.” I’m still frozen with shock at myself when Farrah looks past me and addresses Monsignor Hannibal. “Oh, my goodness, I can’t imagine how this looks, but Father McDaniel was being so kind as to help me with an injury.”
She lifts her elbow and, for the first time, I see her elbow is soundly scraped and bleeding. Denial hits me like a blow. I was sitting here speaking to her, thinking impure thoughts about her, while she was bleeding?
“Someone chased me from the marketplace with ill intentions. I fell and hit my head, you see,” she continues. “So I laid down, feeling all woozy. Father McDaniel was observing me to see if I was bruised or scraped anywhere else.”
“We must bandage your elbow,” I rasp, unable to focus on the main problem anymore. Not when she’s hurt. “Farrah…”
“It’s fine,” she assures me, looking like she wants to touch my arm, but hesitating. “I’ve had worse.”
My muscles bunch painfully. I want to lay her back down and interrogate her about every second of her life leading until now, but I would only betray my fascination with her.
There. I admitted it. I’m fascinated.
Vastly.
To say nothing of this unholy attraction that has my loins in a knot.
“I know what I saw,” sniffs the monsignor. “I might be a man of the cloth, but I know what it looks like when two people are preparing to…to…copulate!”
Farrah’s flush deepens. “Oh no, Father—”
“That’s Monsignor to you.”
“Monsignor. I’m sorry. But—”
“That’s enough out of you, siren.”
I have no control over my reaction. One minute he’s calling her a name and the next, I’m rising to my full height, putting the older man in my shadow. “Refer to her by name or nothing at all, Monsignor. She is Farrah to you. Say it with respect.”
“You’re defending her after she plagued you with temptation? Now I’m ever more positive of what I saw!” He shakes his head. “I’ll be speaking to the cardinal about this.”
“Don’t.” This is serious. Very serious. An elder finding me in a compromising position with a girl ten years my junior. Preparing to give her oral sex while she licked her stolen chocolate. More than that, very possibly. But I can’t let him petition for my removal. I won’t. This is my calling and I’ve never had a problem abiding by my vow until now. Until her. “I am dedicated to the church. I am one hundred percent committed.”
I mean what I’m saying.
I wanted a life of purpose and piety after growing up in the presence of such physical excess. I found peace in my decision to be the lord’s servant, and I won’t give it up. And to have sex be my downfall would be the ultimate blow to my self-worth. My pride.
I’d be just like my twisted betrayer of a father.
“Please,” Farrah says, wringing her hands. “Don’t penalize him for helping me. If Father McDaniel hadn’t intervened, I’d have been at the mercy of the violent man who chased me. Father McDaniel is a true example of a man of God if I’ve ever met one. If a misunderstanding led to him losing his position, it would be a travesty.”
Add guilt to my list of sins for the day, because I allow the lie to be spoken without refuting it. After a few beats pass, however, I realize I must. I won’t be untruthful on top of my chief transgression of bald-faced lust. “Monsignor—”
“I have an idea,” he says, interrupting me. “I…the girl is so earnest in her plea, now I can’t be sure of what I saw, even if my gut tells me I saw fornication. Plain and simple.” He looks off into the distance, towards where the cathedral and rectory sit atop the hill. “We will bring the girl back to the rectory and perform a series of tests, so that I can be certain you’re not attracted to her. If you pass the tests, my conscience will be clear and I won’t feel duty bound to report this to the cardinal.”