Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78850 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78850 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“But… I thought…”
“I’m going to Spain. Do you want to come with me?” My voice sounds far away, and I realize I don’t really care if he comes with me or not.
I’m all alone.
I hate being alone, but I am, and no matter how much I’d like for Brody to be able to fix me, he can’t.
“Now?” His voice goes up an octave.
“Yes.”
“I can’t. I mean…” He looks over at me, then back at the street. “Goddammit, Raven, why Spain?”
“Because that’s where I’m supposed to be.” I bring my knees up and wrap my arms around myself as if that can protect my heart from this pain.
But it doesn’t.
It hurts, I hurt, and something tells me this might never go away.
JETT
I roll over and squint at the blinding sun in my eyes. “The fuck?” Groaning, I sit up and blink away the black dots, then look over at a naked Rachel.
“Christ.” I lie back, scrubbing my hands up and down my face. The events of last night flood my brain.
Raven. Her face, her lips, her fucking pain as she watched Rachel and Emily touch me.
“Fuck.” I sit up and toss the covers off, then rest my elbows on my knees, ignoring Rachel’s groans at being disturbed. My head is pounding and my mouth feels like I drank sewer water.
I grab the bottle of whiskey from my nightstand and take a swig. Definitely a hair-of-the-dog type of morning.
“Emily?” I call out. She must have left, not that I blame her. Last night couldn’t have been more fucked up.
Standing, I slowly make my way to the bathroom to take a piss. Poor Emily. I need to call her and tell her none of what went down was her fault.
No matter how much she tried, I never got hard. I’d like to blame it on the booze, but it wasn’t.
I know it wasn’t.
I flush the toilet and stumble over to the shower, needing a cold one to wake me up enough to figure out my next plan.
What the fuck has happened to me?
Closing my eyes, I place my hands against the tiled wall, my head leaning down as I let the icy sting of the water distract me. But all I see is her, my Lolita, with her big blue eyes and puffy red lips. She hates me.
Christ, I hate me. Talk about fucking self-sabotaging, last night was ugly, dirty, and for the first time since I was probably ten, I feel… regret? Shame?
Maybe both, because I wanted to hurt her. She made me feel, laugh, and question my life, and for that I wanted to punish her. Add in a half bottle of whiskey, and yeah, that helps for making good choices.
I raise my head as the water hits my face. It’s over. She will hate me, but at least maybe this madness can stop.
I don’t want her love. I want things back like they were, where I was happily dipping my dick in wet, warm pussy and not caring. I want to get up and be excited to take a big case, not worrying about how I can sneak into Raven’s room and fuck her before work.
My cock jumps to life at the thought of that. Turning, I grab the soap. I may have a real problem.
I mean, girl-on-girl action and I didn’t even get hard? I sat and watched them get each other off, and my cock didn’t even twitch with interest. But thinking about Raven? I’m hard as fuck.
I do a final rinse off and step out. I need to call Sam and have him come over and give me a B12 shot, at least, because my head is pounding, and my mood is turning darker the more awake I get.
After brushing my teeth, I pull on some jeans and a T-shirt, barely looking at Rachel as I text Sam. I need coffee before I check on her. Fuck it, I can’t feel shittier. Might as well get it over with.
I walk down the hall, drenched in sweat as I make my way to her door and knock.
Nothing, but what did I expect? I pound again as my mind tries to block out the betrayal her eyes held for me.
“Raven.” Still silence. I lean my arm up on the door frame and wait, my pulse starting to race. Twisting the door handle, I brace myself for her pain, her anger, anything but what I’m seeing.
I take a breath and glance around. For the second time in my life, I see red and grab an empty drawer, still open from her packing, and throw it against the wall, watching it crack and splinter.
“Raven?” I scream, kicking the bathroom door open. Her scent instantly envelops me, and I look up, seeing the shampoos and lipsticks she’s left behind.
“Iain?” I bellow as I move to the window and look down at the sunny day.