Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 66859 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66859 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
I exhale and stand, taking the last sip of my coffee.
“I’ll come see you tomorrow,” Eve says. “We’ll deal with this together.”
I nod and hug her, then I say goodbye to Doris and get out of there before she can offer me any more advice. I think I’ve reached my quota on the advice chain.
Ramona and I head back out to the warehouse. We chat the entire time, but my mind is on the pill in the little bag that she’s got sitting on the ground at my feet. I know Doris is right, it could very well be too late, and if it is I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. Beckett doesn’t want to be a father to my baby, not considering he’s in love with another woman. Also considering he thinks I’m trash.
Yucky yuck trash.
It’s okay.
I’ll deal with this one step at a time.
On my own.
Like I always do.
15
I step out of the shower, towel wrapped around me, to see Beckett standing at the door waiting for me. He has his arms crossed, his broad shoulders leaning against the doorframe. His eyes fall on me when I walk out, and I know what he’s waiting for. He’s going to ask me if I took the pill, to make sure everything is cleared up, so his little married woman doesn’t lose her shit. Bitch deserves to lose a bit of shit, considering she’s a taken lady.
“I took the pill, Beckett,” I say. “If that’s what you’re here for.”
He narrows his eyes. “It is, but I wanted to ask something else, too.”
“And what would that be?” I mutter, walking past him and into my room, where I casually drop my towel and begin getting dressed.
I don’t miss the way his eyes scan over my body, but I don’t care. If he wants to live here and keep me under this roof until all this crap is over, then he’s just going to have to deal with everything I’ve got to throw at him. God knows it’s a lot. I take a pair of panties and slowly slide them up my legs.
His jaw ticks.
Good.
Cop that.
“If this tablet doesn’t work ...” he begins and I pause, only a pair of panties on, and meet his eyes. “What is your plan?”
Well, I didn’t quite expect that.
To be honest, I don’t really have a plan because I’m really, really hoping this tablet works. I mean, getting pregnant isn’t that easy. It was likely not even the time during my cycle, so the chances would have been slim anyway. I won’t get pregnant, right? Surely the world doesn’t dislike me so much that they’d give me a baby with a man who is in love with someone else. Surely.
“I hadn’t thought about it,” I say, and it’s the truth.
I have avoided thinking about what will happen if this pill doesn’t work.
Really, really avoided it.
“Think it’s somethin’ we should talk about.”
I blink, and then continue dressing. I’m surprised he’s speaking to me like an adult. Usually, it’s a grunt or an angry growl, but he’s acting mature, and I can return the favor by doing the same. I finish dressing and nod, walking out and sitting on the sofa. He joins me, and for a moment we both just sit in silence, then, I exhale.
“I’m not mother material,” I say, my voice a little shakier than I would have expected when making that statement.
I didn’t have a good upbringing and honestly, if you asked me, I’d tell you that there is no way I’d make a good mother. Not with the values that were drilled into me as a child, and yet saying the words almost feels forced. Like I’m not even giving myself a chance to be better than those who raised me.
“I don’t think that’s the problem,” Beckett says, meeting my eyes. “You’re strong, you’re determined, and I have no doubt you’d make a great mother.”
Well damn, I didn’t think I needed to hear those words, and yet, it would seem I most certainly do.
“That’s a bold statement, I could be a terrible mother.”
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t believe that.”
I’m not about to try and change his mind, it’s the nicest thing he’s said to me and I’m going to take it.
“Either way, you and I ... we don’t even get along. There is no way we can raise a child together. There is also the fact that you’re in love with another woman and I’m fairly certain you don’t want her to know you slept with me, even though she really has no right to be jealous, considering she’s married and all.”
For once, he doesn’t look like he’s going to rip my eyes out when I talk about her.
“It ain’t about her,” he tells me. “This is my problem, I did it. I’ll fix it.”