Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100523 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100523 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Elodie glances at the clock on the stove. “Specifics. Beyond the mark. Now.”
My stomach flutters as I remember the hottest sex of my life. I stop toying with them. “He fucked me on my kitchen counter, then on my couch, and he says the dirtiest things during sex, and before sex, and after sex. He’s voracious, and he kisses me like he wants to devour me. I shoved his face against my chest, and then he sucked on me with his teeth, and it was crazy hot. He’s not sweet in bed. He doesn’t call me a rose petal, he doesn’t tell me I’m his precious love, and he doesn’t say he loves me over and over. He just fucks me good and hard.”
Well, that was a two-man sex review, wasn’t it?
Still, I lift my chin defiantly.
Partly to hide the stupid lump in my throat that I do not want to feel right now. The lump that reminds me how fooled I was by Edward’s style of lovemaking. The overly romantic gestures, the cooing words, the professions of sweet affection while he was inside me.
Like he thought that could fool me. Well, the asshole was right. He did fool me.
But Elodie’s clearly not latching onto the Edward part. She’s hooked on the Carter deets. “Damn. Clone him,” she says.
“He’s dirty, and passionate, and real,” I add, then I shrug, a little sadly, still stuck in the past more than I want to be. “I kind of can’t believe how foolish I was to think Edward meant any of that.”
I guess I can’t stop thinking about the contrast between the two men. I should. But it’s too hard.
“Sweetie,” Elodie says, giving me a side hug. “Edward was an evil magician. He wove dark romantic magic.”
“You were caught in a spell,” Juliet adds.
“All that over-the-top romance from him. The words, the deeds, the gifts,” I mutter, but then I straighten my shoulders. “And then here’s Carter, and boom, in one night, he’s like, let me show you how a man fucks a woman he wants.” I touch the bruise again, feeling connected to it in a whole new way.
Now I know why I love it so much. It’s evidence. It’s the opposite of empty words. It’s something I can trust.
“I didn’t want to upset you by asking,” Elodie says. She’s always been forthright and tough. She didn’t come by it easily. She had to lift herself up in a lot of ways. The net result is she’s one of the strongest people I know and also one of the most direct. “I just wanted to hear the good stuff. It is good, right? You feel good about all of this with him?”
I set a hand on her arm, squeezing her in reassurance. “It’s so good. I didn’t know sex could be like this. He’s very, very focused on me.”
Heat travels down my chest as I think about Carter. As I recall the way he touched me.
“It’s good then that he’s the one you’re getting your feet wet with,” Elodie says.
Juliet ahems. “Sounds like it’s more than feet she’s getting wet.”
I laugh, then try to wave off my earlier worries. “Yes, exactly. I’m just going to focus on the fact that I’m having hot, dirty, passionate sex with no commitments for a few weeks. With someone I trust.”
“I always did wonder if Carter had a thing for you,” she says, like she’s musing on the topic.
“Me too,” Juliet says.
“What?” I turn to my sister.
“Oh, you think I was too young to pick up on his vibes?”
“He wasn’t into me in high school,” I say, certain that’s true.
But Elodie lifts a questioning brow, even though she didn’t know Carter or me back then. I met her post-college. Still, she says, “Maybe he wasn’t into you in high school. But you’ve been friends forever. It can’t be the first time it’s crossed his mind that you’re hot.”
Has Carter thought of me like this before? Like while I was married? Before I was married?
“I mean, haven’t you ever thought of him like this before?” she adds, then checks the time. Amanda will be home any second.
I shake my head. “No. He dated a lot. Always dated a lot. I was just the friend,” I say, a little flummoxed with the question. But now I’m wondering if I ever did think of him this way, and squashed the thought before it turned into something? Only, I’m not sure I will ever know, or if it matters. Probably best to leave that in the past too. “And we both only want to be friends.” I add. “So this is four dates. Girlfriend lessons. Then we’re done.”
“And will you tell Elena?” Elodie asks.
That’s a good question. I don’t see my therapist for another week or so and honestly, that’s for the best right now. I’m not sure I want to say something to Elena yet. Maybe because I don’t want to hear anyone tell me to be careful and she’d say that surely. But I am being careful. This plan is careful. I’m being so goddamn careful with my heart, and I don’t need any more reminders.