Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 73425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
I’m going to have a heart attack just being here.
Pastor Vanderbilt is leaning against his desk, and Pastor MacKinnon is sitting in front of a coffee table.
“Mira, thank you for coming,” Pastor Jason says. He has a reserved smile on his face, and I smile back tremulously.
“Sure, no problem.”
“Why don’t you have a seat?” He motions to a chair in the seating area before his desk.
“Of course.” Our conversation feels pretty stilted right now, and there’s definitely a reason why. I mean, he has to know, right?
I wonder if they’re going to jump right into it or beat around the bush for a little bit. I shoot Jordan a quick look, but his expression gives nothing away.
“So, how are you, Mira?” Jason asks. It looks like he’s going to be leading the discussion.
“Um, I’m good.”
“Pastor Jordan told me that you’re a recent transplant from Kentucky. How’s the city treating you?”
I look at both of them.
“Pretty well,” I say slowly. “I had some trouble with the subway in the beginning, but I think I’ve got the hang of it at this point.”
“Yeah, definitely. I had some trouble too,” Jason intones. “I’m not originally a city boy myself. Jordan and I came here for seminary, and that first week I had to navigate the subway, it was a mess.”
“Yeah,” I smile tentatively. “I almost ended up in the Bronx my first week here. I was trying to get to Harlem, but I messed up a little bit.”
He grins.
“Well, I’m glad you’re a little more MTA savvy now.”
He’s so easy going, it actually helps to calm me down a little bit. But then Jason launches into the hard stuff.
“Jordan also told me that you came to see him yesterday with some issues you were having at school.”
I hesitate.
“I did. He was really helpful,” I shoot a quick smile over at Pastor MacKinnon, but he seems a little tight-lipped, and merely nods my way.
“That’s good. We want you to feel like we are a resource for you, especially in a time of need.” But then Pastor Vanderbilt continues.
“Also,” he continues, “I wanted to take some time to discuss the other things that happened yesterday. Pastor Jordan told me what went down, and we just wanted to have a discussion.”
My face goes hotter than hell. Oh shit. It’s really happening. I knew there was a high possibility that this was why I was summoned here today, but actually being in the room and talking about it is a little embarrassing.
My words get caught in my throat, and I want to melt into the floor.
“Um,” I stammer. “Yes, about that…”
“Don’t feel bad, Mira,” Pastor Jason reassures me. “You did absolutely nothing wrong.”
Really? I look up quickly into his blue eyes and see that he’s smiling at me. But then Jordan speaks.
“Mira,” he says in a low growl. I turn towards him, and he’s looking at me with fierce blue eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened. I shouldn’t have acted the way that I did.”
That cuts deeper than I wanted it to. I thought he had a good time and enjoyed himself. At least, it seemed like he did given the grunts and moans. But then again, I’m not really sure given that these types of scenarios are hardly my forte.
Oh no, did I misread absolutely everything? Of course I would do something stupid like that. Naïve little Mira who knows nothing about the world. I look down at my lap, not really wanting to make eye contact with either one of them.
“You came to me with a problem you were having, and I should have respected the fact that you were in a vulnerable place,” Jordan says.
That all sounds good and proper, but I don’t know if I really wanted to hear it. I would have been happy living with the fantasy that he actually liked and wanted me. Then the other shoe drops.
“But,” he continues, “I also want you to know that being with you isn’t something I regret, not one bit. I just wish it had been under different circumstances.”
I look back up at him, surprised at those words. He enjoyed what we did? With no regrets? I thought I was about to hear an apology, but as usual, I got all in my head, thinking that I was worthless, and completely misread the situation.
After all Pastor Jordan, my Pastor Jordan, just admitted to liking me. Or wanting to be with me. Something like that? I’d never thought I’d ever get affection from a handsome male, but then the very first man to approach me happens to be this gorgeous man of the cloth.
My body goes hot, thinking about having Jordan all over me again.
“I don’t,” is my stammer.
“You don’t what?”
“I don’t regret what happened either. I’m fine with the circumstances and really enjoyed myself,” I admit. My voice is shaking because I’m so nervous. But then I summon my courage. “In fact,” I say, pausing for a moment. Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m going to keep going with this. I’m actually going to speak these words aloud. “In fact, I loved every second of what happened between us.”