Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 31081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 155(@200wpm)___ 124(@250wpm)___ 104(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 31081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 155(@200wpm)___ 124(@250wpm)___ 104(@300wpm)
“Oh God, was he dead?” I ask, horrified.
“No.” He laughs, then stress lines appear on his frown line. “He was inside with someone who wasn’t Mrs. Graham.” Typical. Bastard. “He saw me walk in. He was in the living room, and he had this woman tied to a contraption. I’d never seen anything like it before.”
I break off a piece of breadstick and stuff it in my mouth, devouring it. I’m starving. “And now you probably own one.”
Smirking, he shrugs. “One of many.”
I feel the usual throbbing between my legs whenever I’m in a conversation with this man.
“Are you ready to order, sir?” the waiter interrupts.
“I’ll take the steak, medium-rare,” I tell him before Joshua can. I hate men ordering for the table like we’re incapable of choosing our own food.
“I’ll take the same. I like mine bloody.” He hands the waiter back the menu.
Sipping my wine, I smile over the glass when I catch him staring at my lips. “Tell me more,” I urge, intrigued to see where this story is going.
“So, anyway, he has a woman bound, blindfolded, and gagged in this rack coming down from his ceiling. Mr. Graham places a finger to his lips to tell me to hush, then waves me in, gesturing for me to take a seat.”
“To watch?” I ask, perplexed.
He nods in confirmation as he sips a mouthful of wine. “I shook my head no. But there was something commanding about him that made me feel like it wasn’t a choice. It was an adult giving me an order. So I sat and watched as he punished this woman with a whip. He brought her to climax, then fucked her all the while I just sat there. Thirteen years old, feeling—”
“Violated?” I growl, angry for him, for the woman, for his parents who trusted him to be safe mowing a damn lawn.
“Guilty.” He frowns. “And ashamed of the reaction my body had.”
This is something real and painful he’s sharing with me—a part of himself.
“Joshua,” I murmur.
“It’s fine.” He waves a hand. “I know now I did nothing wrong, that the adult was in the wrong. But it doesn’t end there, unfortunately.”
“Did he hurt you?” I choke out.
“No.” He shakes his head. “No, the woman, I knew her. When he released her and took off her blindfold.”
“Who was it?” I gasp.
“My teacher.” He grimaces. “She was mortified and became hysterical. It intensified my self-loathing and guilt and took me years to overcome that. She quit her job and moved out of town.”
Oh my God. “Did you tell anyone?”
Shaking his head, he exhales a heavy breath. “No, I stopped doing the odd jobs and withdrew into myself until I got a little older and came to terms with the fact that the man was an asshole. I researched BDSM and educated myself. He was a bad Dom and violated her trust.”
“And yours,” I state.
“Yes, and mine.”
We fall into a contemplative silence, accepting our food as it arrives.
“I want you to know,” Joshua tells me after a while, “there are bad, wrong people in the world who do ruthless things, but we’re not the ones to blame for the things that happen to us.”
I know that.
“He was a cop,” I blurt.
He freezes, placing his fork down and reaching across the table to offer comfort by taking my hands.
“I was in college, walking home, and he…” I shrug, a mocking laugh rattling my chest. “He told me he couldn’t let me walk home because I’d been drinking.”
His face darkens with fury. Not at me, for me. Protectiveness washes over me.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he states.
“I got in the car.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Quinn.” Each word is punctuated with a fierceness I feel deep in my bones.
I smile weakly at him. He never calls me Quinn.
“I knew something was…just off. I don’t know how, but I sensed the evil when he drove past my street.” I exhale, closing my eyes. Tears sting the back of my eyelids. “I always had these fantasies that were too risky and naughty to share with my peers. I liked the thought of being taken. You know, rough-sex, surprise sex, so it felt like I’d somehow put that out there in the universe and brought it on myself.”
“Quinn, it wasn’t your fault.”
I nod, letting the tears seep down my cheeks. “I know. I know that now.”
“Did you report him?”
“To who? The police?” I scoff, pulling my hands from his and pushing my plate away. I’ve lost my appetite.
“So, the siren at your place?” He sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“For what? You can’t stop sirens from passing my house.” I swipe away the tears on my cheeks with the balls of my hands. “I feel silly for letting it have such an impact on me after all this time.”