Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
“Free tickets, huh?” I sip my drink.
“Yes. I work there. I’m their information technology manager.”
I nod. “Okay. I’m going to pretend that I know what that means.”
She laughs. “Think computer geek and just leave it at that.”
“Got it. Well, I’m sure she’d love to go, but I’ll need to check with her mom.”
“Great. You’ve got my number. Just shoot me a text after the game.”
“Okay. Well…” I nod toward Reagan’s field “…I’d better get back before I miss her home run.”
“Oh definitely. Bye, Colten.” She winks at me again.
Winks.
That’s flirting. Right? Or am I reading into it? She’s still grieving the loss of her husband. And she knows it’s only been five months since Josie died. Yeah, I’m reading into it.
“Reagan made a friend last week. I saw her mom at the concession stand. She invited Reagan to the children’s museum after the game. I said I’d check with you and text her,” I say to Katy, taking a seat on the bench.
“I’m sure she’d love that,” Katy says. “What do you know about her parents? Are we comfortable with them taking our daughter to the museum?”
“It’s just the mom. Her husband died last summer. She works at the museum.”
“Oh, she’s a widow. Is she nice?”
I watch Reagan staring at the sky in the outfield instead of paying attention the game. “What does ‘oh, she’s a widow’ mean?”
“Nothing. Does she know you’re single?”
“Yes. She invited Reagan to play with Nora. She didn’t ask me on a date.”
“I know, but everything has a beginning.”
“I’m not beginning anything. And neither is she.”
“Katy, it’s a playdate,” Sean says.
I like Sean. Always have. He’s a no-nonsense kind of guy. Works long hours in construction. Adores my daughter. But doesn’t act pussy whipped by his wife.
“I’m just saying, you’re quickly going to find that Reagan is … for lack of a better term … a chick magnet. She’ll make lots of friends who have single moms. And single moms love single dads, especially widowers who work in law enforcement.”
“Jesus Christ …” Sean mumbles. “Let the guy properly grieve and figure out his own shit in his own time.”
I nod. “Yes, what he said.”
Katy nudges Sean’s shin with her foot. “Stop. I’m just helping him out, so he doesn’t get into a sticky situation.”
“He’s a homicide detective. I think he’s good in sticky situations.”
Really, I think I’m on the verge of a bromance with Sean. He just … gets me.
After the game, Reagan gives an enthusiastic yes to going to the museum with Nora, so I shoot Layla a text.
“I think you should go with her.” Katy says. “In all seriousness, it might be too early to send our daughter off with someone you met a week ago for all of two seconds.”
I give her a tight grin and a slight nod.
The girls jump from one exhibit to the next with Layla and I close behind them. This feels normal, like something I should be doing. It also feels wrong. I should be here with Josie.
“Say it,” Layla says.
I glance over at her. “Say what?”
“All the things going through your head.”
“What makes you think anything is going through my head?”
“Because I keep thinking, what if someone I know sees me with you? Will they think I have a boyfriend? Will they think I’ve moved on? Will they tell anyone? And then I think, what would Joe think? Then, of course, my mind wanders into really depressing territory. Joe died. He will never think anything again. So the real question is, what am I thinking? And when I can’t answer that question because I really don’t know what to think or what to feel, I wonder what you’re thinking. You lost your fiancée more recently than I lost my husband.”
My cheeks puff with a big breath before I slowly release it. “You are further along than I am. I’m still stuck in the ‘I wish she were here’ phase. I guess that makes me terrible company. Who wants to hang out with someone who is wishing they were with someone else?”
“You’re right. It’s early for you. I still have times when I’d give anything for Joe to be here to see something or experience something with me. But he’s been gone long enough that I no longer have moments when I think it’s nothing but a bad dream. I’m fully aware that he’s gone. I’m consciously moving forward, not merely drifting along. Does that make sense?”
“I think so,” I nod slowly.
“So now my brain has started to wander into other directions, somewhat prompted by my family urging me to date. And while this is not a date or anything at all like that, you are a man, and what we’re doing feels weird even though we’re not doing anything.”
I don’t respond right away, so an awkward silence fills the air around us while we stare at the girls doing a water race.